CHAPTER 5 – JUNK JUDGMENTS
“Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others.”
— Oprah Winfrey, American TV personality
Judgments are a dime a dozen in life! Most of the time, you exercise judgments without even being cognizant about it. Try figuring out these following familiar statements; in all probability, you would find yourself unaware about their judgmental tones:
"How I wished I was not fat, dark, and ugly!"
"Everything seems very unfair!"
"She is so smart and beautiful. Why am I having a hard time matching her personal appeal?
"It is disheartening to know that they came out with the wrong decision in the end. They should have listened to me in the first place!"
The boldface texts along each of the statements are actually typical judgment words, which people find them oftentimes much easier to use instead of describing or drawing the facts behind their contexts. However, due to the regular use of judgments, problems imminently arise when people mistake them for facts; and thus, binding their mindsets upon these formed opinions and accepting them at face value. The term for such an established opinion is value judgment, which differs distinctively from a basic observation. Under an observation, you only use your senses, and declare what you see, feel, and hear about what is happening around you. When judging or making a value judgment, you level up the observation process a notch further by providing a subjective assessment. Essential to judging, you exercise your cognitive process of reaching into a decision or drawing conclusions by forming an opinion about something based upon your beliefs and principles, but not on facts (which you can actually verify or prove). Under a value judgment, however, you only classify and tag something as either ‘bad’ or ‘good,’ or simply as, ‘I do not want’ or ‘I want,’ respectively. Clearly, there would be no issues if you would tag yourself as ‘good’ or ‘right.’ Yet, if you tag yourself otherwise, as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong,’ then you can virtually cause disturbances on your psyche and attitude. Such is the sort of judgment that leads your self-esteem plummeting down into the abyss of damnation. Having a judgmental attitude only promotes criticism, impatience, prejudice, intolerance, narrow-mindedness, and self-righteousness. Generally, you will have the tendencies of perceiving things at each end of their extremes only— either plain black or plain white, best or worst— with only a minuscule of perceptions midst their grey area. Thus, if you judge something about your being as ‘bad,’ then you are actually denoting— subconsciously or unconsciously— that you ought to be ‘someone in a certain way’ prior to becoming loved and accepted. In short, you would only be accepting yourself under specific conditions or parameters. Just the same, you are practically rendering yourself helpless and powerless when adjudging yourself as ‘bad,’ since you could no longer do anything about it but merely accepting it as ‘bad.’ As it is, this only directs you back towards your inner communication of self-criticism. Thus, judgment puts up to be a great hindrance to self-love. It heightens your negative thoughts, depression, and anxiety, which are all …show more content…
Perfectionists present themselves to society as perfect as they could be, and strive at all costs to deliver results as perfect as possible. While a perfect delivery might be good, going to the extremes to fulfill perfectionism is not. As they say, too much of everything is injurious.
In addition, perfectionism all boils down to ruining self-esteem. In her book, ‘Bird By Bird,’ Anne Lamott succinctly described perfectionism as the oppressor’s voice. It is the enemy of the people!
Perfectionism can truly paralyze you from your performances since you become very afraid that you might not live up to certain standards. Every detail would likely seem inferior to you. As a result, you tend to procrastinate while not getting your desired outputs and outcomes. Such will surely drown your self-esteem in the sea of redundant, if not, paralyzed actions.
Alternatively, if you force taking actions, you will only find yourself oftentimes unsatisfied with the results of your performances and accomplishments. In effect, your thoughts and feelings about yourself turn increasingly negative while your motivations of taking actions drop
“Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others.”
— Oprah Winfrey, American TV personality
Judgments are a dime a dozen in life! Most of the time, you exercise judgments without even being cognizant about it. Try figuring out these following familiar statements; in all probability, you would find yourself unaware about their judgmental tones:
"How I wished I was not fat, dark, and ugly!"
"Everything seems very unfair!"
"She is so smart and beautiful. Why am I having a hard time matching her personal appeal?
"It is disheartening to know that they came out with the wrong decision in the end. They should have listened to me in the first place!"
The boldface texts along each of the statements are actually typical judgment words, which people find them oftentimes much easier to use instead of describing or drawing the facts behind their contexts. However, due to the regular use of judgments, problems imminently arise when people mistake them for facts; and thus, binding their mindsets upon these formed opinions and accepting them at face value. The term for such an established opinion is value judgment, which differs distinctively from a basic observation. Under an observation, you only use your senses, and declare what you see, feel, and hear about what is happening around you. When judging or making a value judgment, you level up the observation process a notch further by providing a subjective assessment. Essential to judging, you exercise your cognitive process of reaching into a decision or drawing conclusions by forming an opinion about something based upon your beliefs and principles, but not on facts (which you can actually verify or prove). Under a value judgment, however, you only classify and tag something as either ‘bad’ or ‘good,’ or simply as, ‘I do not want’ or ‘I want,’ respectively. Clearly, there would be no issues if you would tag yourself as ‘good’ or ‘right.’ Yet, if you tag yourself otherwise, as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong,’ then you can virtually cause disturbances on your psyche and attitude. Such is the sort of judgment that leads your self-esteem plummeting down into the abyss of damnation. Having a judgmental attitude only promotes criticism, impatience, prejudice, intolerance, narrow-mindedness, and self-righteousness. Generally, you will have the tendencies of perceiving things at each end of their extremes only— either plain black or plain white, best or worst— with only a minuscule of perceptions midst their grey area. Thus, if you judge something about your being as ‘bad,’ then you are actually denoting— subconsciously or unconsciously— that you ought to be ‘someone in a certain way’ prior to becoming loved and accepted. In short, you would only be accepting yourself under specific conditions or parameters. Just the same, you are practically rendering yourself helpless and powerless when adjudging yourself as ‘bad,’ since you could no longer do anything about it but merely accepting it as ‘bad.’ As it is, this only directs you back towards your inner communication of self-criticism. Thus, judgment puts up to be a great hindrance to self-love. It heightens your negative thoughts, depression, and anxiety, which are all …show more content…
Perfectionists present themselves to society as perfect as they could be, and strive at all costs to deliver results as perfect as possible. While a perfect delivery might be good, going to the extremes to fulfill perfectionism is not. As they say, too much of everything is injurious.
In addition, perfectionism all boils down to ruining self-esteem. In her book, ‘Bird By Bird,’ Anne Lamott succinctly described perfectionism as the oppressor’s voice. It is the enemy of the people!
Perfectionism can truly paralyze you from your performances since you become very afraid that you might not live up to certain standards. Every detail would likely seem inferior to you. As a result, you tend to procrastinate while not getting your desired outputs and outcomes. Such will surely drown your self-esteem in the sea of redundant, if not, paralyzed actions.
Alternatively, if you force taking actions, you will only find yourself oftentimes unsatisfied with the results of your performances and accomplishments. In effect, your thoughts and feelings about yourself turn increasingly negative while your motivations of taking actions drop