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80 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
Why study conflict?
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because it is inevitable, to avoid uncontrolled escalation to violence, to help us achieve our goals, because people experience conflict a lot.
Mental health improves in learning to deal with conflict, people around you can benefit from it. |
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Common myths about conflict:
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-harmony is normal, conflict is abnormal
-conflict should be avoided, minimized, resolved, managed -conflict and anger are synonymous -conflict is pathological or dyfunctional -conflict is a function of personality characteristics |
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What is conflict?
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conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.
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conflict varies in intensity:
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1. mild difference
2. disagreement 3. dispute 4. campaign 5. litigation 6. fight or war |
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what is an interpersonal approach?
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interpersonal approach to conflict management focuses on the communicative exchanges that make up the conflict episode
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what is intrapersonal conflict?
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intrapersonal conflict is internal strain that creates a state of ambivalence, conflicting internal dialogue, or lack or resolution in ones thinking and feeling
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what is strategic conflict?
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conflict in which parties have choices as opposed to conflict in which the power is so disparate that there are virtually no choices
-parties must have mutual interests |
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what are the four horsemen?
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1. criticizing
2. defensiveness 3. stonewalling 4. contempt |
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what are win-lose metaphors?
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win-lose metaphors imply that the outcome is predetermined with little possibility for productive conflict management
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some examples of win-lose metaphors:
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-conflict is warlike and violent
-conflict is bullying -conflict is explosive -conflict is a trial -conflict is a struggle -conflict is an act of nature -conflict is an animal behavior -conflict is a mess -conflict is a communication breakdown |
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what are some neutral or objective metaphors?
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-conflict is a game
-conflict is a heroic adventure -conflict is a balancing act |
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what are some transformative metaphors?
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-conflict is a bargaining table
-conflict is a tide -conflict is a dance -conflict is a garden -conflict resolution as quilt making -conflict as musical improvisation |
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what is the lens model of conflict?
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lens model illustrates the building blocks of conflict
-two fundamental aspects are important to all conflicts: 1. communication behaviors 2. the perceptions of those behaviors The lens model specifies that each person has a view of -oneself, the other person, and the relationship |
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what are the T.R.I.P. goals?
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1. topic of content
2. relational 3. identity or facework 4. process (these goals may overlap and shift during dispute) |
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Topic goals:
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what does each person want?
differing ideas about what to do, what decisions to make, where to go...etc. can be listed, argued, supported by evidence, and broken into pros and cons Two types: people either want different things, or they want the same thing (scare resources) also known as substantive or realistic goals |
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relational goals:
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-who are we to each other?
define how each party wants to be treated by the other and the amount of interdependence they desire (how they define themselves as a unit) -every conflict carries a relational message -we translate or interpret relational messages differently -relational interests carry more urgency than topic interests seldom become outspoken messages |
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Identity goals:
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-who am i in this interaction?
how can my self identity be protected or repaired in this particular conflict -in each conflict situation people either save face or lose face (self esteem is a scare resource) |
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Process goals:
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-what communication process would work best?
-impacts other types of goals quick, well defined processes help you move forward but decrease creativity |
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Overlapping of the TRIP goals
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feature 1: not all types of goals emerge in disputes
feature 2: interests and goals overlap with one another and differ in primacy feature 3: identity and relational issues are the "drivers" of disputes; they underlie topic and process issues feature 4: in a serious dispute, topic only solutions are rarely satisfying to conflict parties feature 5: conflict parties often specialize in one kind of goal. feature 6: goals may emerge in a different form. |
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Prospective goals:
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-before interacting with a person
-taking the time to clarify what you want from a particular interaction lays groundwork for more effective conflict -when you clarify prospective goals you: -gain clarity about what you want from a meeting -prepare yourself for a discussion -get a sense of "i can do this" |
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Transactive goals:
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-during the interaction itself
-many goals only become clear as the conflict unfolds each person is influencing the other person they are in flux -goals change through the transactions we have with others |
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Retrospective goals:
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-emerge after the conflict is over
-retrospective sense making helps people define who they are and make meaningful statement about the place of conflict in their lives -retrospective goals give us clarity since we do not know the implications of a conflict until we look back at it |
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Types of power
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1. designated
2. distributive 3. integrative 4. power denial |
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R.I.C.E model
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R- resources
I- interpersonal linkages C- communication skills E- expertise |
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what are the interpersonal bases of power:
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-reward power-capacity to reward compliance. may support legitimate power
-legitimate power- ability to influence because of position -coercive power- ability to remove something from a person or to punish them -expert power- contain highly valued expertise |
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Relational theory of power:
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explains power is a property of the social relationship rather than a quality of the individual.
-power is always interpersonal -power is based on ones dependence on the resources or currencies that another person controls or seems to posess |
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Alfred Shutz'z theory of fundamental interpersonal needs
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-need to control and be controlled
-needs to receive and give affection -needs to include and be included |
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How are styles and strategies (or tactics) distinct from one another?
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styles- patterned responses or clusters of behavior people use in conflict
-tactics- individual moves people make to carry out their apporach (describe specific communication moves of the big picture -when you use a tactic numerous times, it becomes a style- a patterned response |
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advantage of avoidance:
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denial of the conflict
advantages: one has not learned how to engage in collaborative conflict management, open communication is not important, costs of the confrontation are too high, good if the issue is trivial or unimportant if others can manage the conflict, if your goal is to avoid other party's influence |
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what are the communication styles?
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1. avoidance
2. competition 3. compromise 4. accommodation 5. collaboration |
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what are the disadvantages of avoidance:
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-tells other that you do not care enough to confront them, gives the impression that you cannot change
allows conflict to simmer and heat up, gives the impression that conflict is terrible and best avoided, usually sets the stage for later explosion |
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advantages/ disadvantages of competition:
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advantages: good in emergency settings, can generate creative ideas, when external goal is more important than the relationship
disadvantages: can harm relationship, can be harmful if one refuses to deal with conflict head on, can encourage one party to go covert to make the other pay, you either win or you lose |
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advantages/ disadvantages of compromise:
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-advantages: faster than collaboration, reinforces a power balance used to achieve temporary or expedient settlements in time pressure situations
can be a back up for decision making when other styles fail, appears reasonable to most parties disadvantages: an be easy way out, seen as a form of loss, prevents new creative option can be confused with arbitration |
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advantages/ disadvantages of accommodation:
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advantages: if one is wrong if issue is important to one person and not to the other, one can minimize losses if he/she was going to lose anyway
if harmony and maintenance of the relationship is the most crucial goal disadvantages: can foster competitiveness of who is nicer reduces creative options, commitment to relationship is never tested since one person always gives in, in one resents the accomodation it will backfire, can further ones lack of power, may signal to the other that the person is not invested enough in the conflict to struggle through |
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advantages/disadvantages of collaboration
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advantages: works to find an integrative solution that satisfies both parties
generates new ideas, shows respect for the other party, gains commitment from both parties High energy style that commits people to long term committed relationships, builds a team approach focusing on relationship and content goals. demonstrates that conflict can be productive Disadvantages: one can become imprisoned in it, if investment in the relationship is low, its not worth the time and energy, can be used in a manipulative way. |
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misconceptions about emotions:
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-emotions are irrational
-emotions cant be controlled and will escalate if released -one should ignore emotions to resolve conflict well -emotions hinder good decision-making -emotions are for the powerless -emotions should not be displayed at work -if other people express emotion, i have to do something about it -if i express anger, it means i dont love or respect the object of my anger. |
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functions of emotions:
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-emotions help us to adapt:
1. motivation depends on emotions 2. each discrete emotion serves different functions in organizing perception, cognitions and actions for coping and creative endeavors 3. significant personal situations trigger organized patterns of emotions 4. people develop emotion-behavior patterns early in life and build on them 5. individual personalities are built upon the blocks of emotion-behavior patterns 6. while emotions help people to adapt to community life, they also trigger difficult behavior in response to certain triggers. |
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Functions of negative emotions:
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the functions of anger: anger can be a wakeup call, a motivator and an energizer- a source of empowerment (usually) for the person who feels it.
fear and anger often interact in a pattered way, when one focuses on the target of anger, the person or situation that may threaten something valuable, the anger-fear sequence is set into motion |
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zone of effectiveness
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conflicts that are worked out in the middle of the level of intensity are more effectively resolved that those that are left unexpressed or are handled with unrestrained emotion.
-venting does not help the conflict situation -moderated emotions in conflict bring many advantages |
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how do we learn to manage the emotions that make up conflict?
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1. "warrior of the heart"
-awareness is by far the most essential powerful resource we have for effecting change and working with lifes challenges, awareness draws not on knowing about something but on clarity - compassion, makes us strong and expand as conflict managers -a warrior of the heart needs courage 2. Working With emotion - express anger responsibly - use X, Y, Z, formula for clarity - actively listen - protect yourself from verbal abuse - use fractionation - use positive language |
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working with emotion:
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express anger responsibly:
-verbally state the anger -distinguish between venting and acknowledging anger -agree that you will never attack another in a state of anger -work to find the stimulus for the anger. it wont go away, just because it is expressed. -actively listen to emotional communication -protect yourself from verbal abuse use fractiaonation-(reduces the intensity of emotions in conflicts by focusing attention on the sizing of disputes -use positive language |
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what is the X Y Z formula for clarity?
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when you do X
in situation Y i feel Z |
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what is interdependence?
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when one thing depends on the first to an equal degree, so that they unavoidably influence each other, they are said to be interdependent
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explain the prisoners dilemma:
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the game-theoretical model of the prisoner's dilemma perhaps best introduces the concept of interdependence-a district attorney is holding two men suspected of armed robbery. There is not enough evidence to take the case to court so he has the two men brought to his office. he tells them that in order to have them convicted he needs a confession; without one he can charge them only with illegal possession of firearms; which carries a penalty of six months in jail. if they both confess he promises them the minimum sentence for armed robbery, which is two years. if however, only one confesses, he will be considered a state witness and go free, while the other will get twenty years, the maximum sentence. then without giving them time to talk it out, he has them locked up in separate cells from which they cannot communicate with each other.
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what is a system:
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-a system is an organized collection of interdependent parts
1. interdependence 2. wholeness (whole is greater than sum of parts) 3. non- summativity (cannot add up individual actions to understand how they function as a system) 4. equifinality (systems that start off the same, dont necessarily end up the same) |
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what are some ways to break the pattern in a system?
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1. meta communicate then change behavior, it will break the pattern
2. inviting a third party to help one another 3. spend less time together or negotiate |
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Principles of conflict in systems theory:
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1. conflict in systems occur in chain reactions. people cannot be identified as villains, heroes, good/bad, healthy/unhealthy members...etc
2. each member get labeled or programmed into a specific role in the system 3. cooperation is necessary among system members to keep conflicts going 4. triangles tend to form in systems when relationships are close and intense 5. systems develop rules for conflict that are followed even if they work poorly 6. The conflict serves the system in some way |
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what are the assumptions for negotiation to take place?
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1. participants engage in the conflict rather than avoiding it
2. parties resist using domination, or power over tactics 3. parties use persuasive communication tactics in a variety of styles 4. parties have reached an active problem-solving phase in which specific proposals are traded. |
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constructive argumentation:
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test ideas-not people
-must agree on process rules to protect identity, procedural and relationship dimensions so that the arguments can focus on the topic. while in argument you: 1. state what you are claiming 2. present evidence for your claim 3. present reasons for your claim 4. summarize to show what you have established |
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competitive negotiation
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(or distributive negotiation) are what most people think of when discussing negotiation
-in competitive negotiations each party usually has a resistance point or a bargaining range beyond what he or she will not go |
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basic assumptions of competitive negotiation are as follows:
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1. the negotiating world is controlled by egocentric self-interest
2. the underlying motivation is competitive 3. limited resources prevail 4. one can make independent choices: tomorrow's decision remains unaffected materially by todays 5. the resource distribution system is distributive in nature (either/or) 6. the goal is to win as much as you can- and especially more than the other side |
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messages that hurt:
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-accusations
-evaluations or judgements -orders or commands -advice -a statement of preference or comparison -a disclosure of information -a statement disguised as a question or opinion -a threat - lie -blunders -direct attacks -group preference |
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what is forgiveness?
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an inner process, central to psychotherapy, where the injured person without request of the other releases those negative feelings and no longer seeks to hurt and this process has psychological and emotional benefits
-giving up the idea of a better past -the decision to reduce negative thoughts, affect and behavior such as blame and anger, toward an offender or hurtful situation and to begin to gain better understanding of the the offense and the offender -forgiveness is the hearts capacity to release its grasp on the pains of the past and free itself to go on. -giving up rage the desire for vengeance, and a grudge toward those who have inflicted grievous harm on you, your loved ones or groups with whom you identify |
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what are misconceptions of forgiveness?
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-forgiveness does not dismiss or minimize an event or situation
-forgiveness is not indifferent about justice -forgiveness is not a sign of weakness -forgiveness requires an act of imagination |
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what are the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation:
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forgiveness- is a process undertaken by one person in relation to another, with or without interaction with that person
-forgiveness does not necessarily reestablish relationship -forgiveness neither obligates one to reconciliation nor necessitates it -forgiveness may benefit the one who violates the terms of the relationship, but first and foremost it is for the benefit of the person who has been harmed. Reconciliation: is a process of reestablishing relationship, renewing trust, settling differences so that the cooperation and sense of harmony are restored -reconciliation brings two parties together in a way that forgiveness cannot -reflects the mutual mutual interests of two parties and embodies a willingness to reengage in the relationship in the belief that further injury is less likely to occur and that the benefits of a new association outweigh the risks |
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four aspects of reconciliation that distinguish it from forgiveness:
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1. reestablishing relationship
2. renewing trust 3. settling differences 4. restoring harmony |
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what are the types of apologies?
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-expedient apology- often arranged in private, merely benefits the one who offers the apology and provides little or no benefit for the person who was harmed, the goal is to avoid rather than engage, to escape the consequences of ones actions rather than learn more about the actual harm caused by the action
ex: to avoid more controversy over this, lets issue an apology so we can move on -compelled apology: may be empty because it is offered without an adequate understanding of the full effect of ones actions efforts to explain our actions may only make things worse, ex: politician issuing apology for affair. child apologizing because mother told him too -delayed or surrogate apology someone far removed from the wrongdoing accepts responsibility for the harm and offers an apology on behalf of people no longer present. ex: apologizing to african americans for slavery |
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what are the components of an apology (criteria for a good apology)
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1. acknowledgement of harm without an accompanying justification
2. acceptance rather than deflection of responsibility 3. sincere expression of regret or remorse 4. reparation in some form 5. assurance of safety for the sake of the future of the relationship 7. in rare cases an apology may require an explanation if it is requested by the injured party |
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implicit forgiveness:
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one's statements or behaviors communicate either that no transgression was committed or that the transgression was so minor as if to be of no consequence
ex: no problem! |
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explicit forgiveness:
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make direct reference to the presence of a debt and to ones willingness to release the other person from the debt
ex: i forgive you for... |
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what are the advantages of ADR over litigation?
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1. it is less expensive
2. it can be settled without going to a judge 3. there can be more chance of collaboration rather than compromise or someone winning and someone losing 4. less public |
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Modes of dispute resolution
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1. facilitative (parties decide mutually)
2. evaluative (advisor, lawyer) 3. transformative(taking into consideration TRIP goals) 4. adjudicative (judges and arbitrators) 4. adjudicative |
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when parties decide?
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1. coaching
2. facilitation 3. mediation 4. counseling and therapy 5. organizational development 6. conciliation 7.quasi-judicial bodies 8. informal tribunals 9. arbitration |
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when others decide:
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10. criminal and civil justice system
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transformative
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preventative
open door trainings (communication, leadership, listening, negotiating) ombudsperson -problem solving -interest negotiation -advocacy -conciliation -referral -team building |
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facilitative
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-facilitated
mediation facilitation shuttle diplomacy coaching |
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evaluative
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-fact-finding
mini trial fact finding -advisory neutral evaluation peer review nonbinding arbitration summary jury trial |
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adjucative
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-imposed
litigation arbitration grievance procedures appeals MED/ARB |
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arbitration
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neutral conducts a hearing between disputing parties and makes a final decision called an "award" which may or many not have an explanation
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private judging (rent a judge)
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trail conducted by a former judge or a professional neutral. judge asked to make a finding of fact and or law. finding entered into public record
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fact finding
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neutral appointed by court or parties conducts an independent investigation and issues a written finding and recommendation. the report may be used by decision maker or parties
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mini- trial
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neutral presides in presence of business executives attroneys for parties provide summary presentations buisness executives then negotiate
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summary trail jury
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a private jury pool assembled to hear a case presided over by a neutral. the jury deliberates and issues a nonbinding or advisory decision and the parties can question the jurrors. the trail is followed by negotiations between parties
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settlement conference
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attorneys without parties meet wit a neutral suggests a setlement range by which the parties will structure negotiations
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MED-ARB
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case begins as mediation but if impasse occures mediator becomes an arbitrator hold a hearing and issues a decision
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Peer review
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employees trained and serve as a panel of jurors usually in displicanry issues. peer review decisions are out of management hands
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ombudsman
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roving mediator/arbitrator/fact finder. no decsison making power but may preform fact finding, issue written reports or make advisory recommendaton depending on charter
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mediation
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teh art of changing peoples postions with the explicit aim of acceptance of a package put together by both sides with the mdeiator as listener suggestion-giver the formulator of final agreements to which both sides have contribued their job is to faciliate parties in disputes to reach an agreement themselves
mediator controls the process but not the outcome |
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ADR is useful in
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-school
-workplace -families -communities |
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differences between arbitrators mediators and ombudsmen:
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arbitrators: conduct a hearing and issue the final decision
ombudsmen- have no decsion making power, may perform fact finding issue written reports or make advisory recommendation can work with individuals and not both parties mediators- have no decision making authority the control the facilitative process. the parties themselves retain control over the issue of concern and the outcome. no requirement that an agreement must occur. |