An Inspector Calls Act One

Front 1

Curtain Up

Back 1

Thank you, Edna. That's right. You ought to like this port, Gerald. Finchley assures me it's exactly the same port your father gets from him.

Front 2

SHEILA: Like one of these purple-faced old men.

Back 2

Here, I'm not a purple faced old man!

Front 3

SHEILA: But then you don't know all about port do you?

Back 3

Now then, Sybil, you must take a little tonight. Special occasion, y'know, eh?

Front 4

EDNA: Yes ma'am

Back 4

Well, well, this is very nice. Very nice. Good dinner too Sybil. Tell Cook from me.

Front 5

MRS: Arthur, you're not supposed to say such things

Back 5

Oh- come, come- I'm treating Gerald like one of the family. And I'm sure he won't object.

Front 6

MRS: Isn't that so Arthur?

Back 6

Quite, quite.

Front 7

MRS: Arthur, what about this toast of yours?

Back 7

Yes, of course. Well, Gerald, I know you agreed we should only have this quiet little family party. It's a pity Sir George and -er- Lady Croft can't be here tonight, but they're abroad and so it can't be helped. As I told you they sent me a very nice cable, couldn't be nicer. I'm not sorry we're celebrating like this.

Front 8

GERALD: I quite agree

Back 8

So do I, but it makes speechmaking more difficult.

Front 9

ERIC: Well, don't do any.

Back 9

What?

Front 10

ERIC: I said don't do any.

Back 10

Oh, yes, I will. This is one of the happiest nights of my life. And one day, I hope, Eric, when you've a daughter of your own, you'll understand why. Gerald, I'm going to tell you frankly, without any pretenses that your engagement to Sheila means a tremendous lot to me. She'll make you happy. I'm sure you'll make her happy. You're just the kind of son in law I've always wanted. Your father and I have been friendly rivals in business for some time- though Crofts Limited is both older and bigger than Birling and Company- and now you've brought is together, and perhaps we may look forward to the time when Crofts and Birlings are no longer competing but working together- for lower costs and higher prices.

Front 11

SHEILA: Neither do I, all wrong.

Back 11

Quite so, I agree with you. I only mentioned it in passing. What I did want to say was- that Sheila's a lucky girl- and, Gerald, I think you're a pretty fortunate young man too.

Front 12

GERALD: I know I am, just this once anyhow.

Back 12

So here's wishing the pair of you the very best that life can bring, Gerald and Sheila!

Front 13

MRS: I think Sheila and I had better go into the drawing room and leave you men-

Back 13

I just want to say this. Are you listening Sheila? This concerns you too.

Front 14

SHEILA: Actually, I was listening.

Back 14

I'm delighted about this engagement and I hope it's not too long before you're married. And I wan't to say this. There's a good deal of silly talk about these days -but- and I speak as a hard-headed business man, who has to take risks and know what he's about- I say, you can ignore all this silly pessimistic talk. When you marry, you'll be marrying at a very good time. Yes, a very good time, and soon it will be an even better time.

Front 15

ERIC: What about war?

Back 15

What? Don't interrupt Eric. I was coming to that. Just because the Kaiser makes a speech or two or a few German officers have too much to drink and begin talking nonsense, you'll hear some people say that war is inevitable. To that I say- fiddlestick! The Germans don't want war! Nobody wants war. Except for a few half-civilized folks in the Balkans. And why? There's too much at stake these days. Everything to lose and nothing to be gained by war.

Front 16

ERIC: Yes, I know- but still-

Back 16

Just let me finish, Eric. You've a lot to learn yet. And I'm talking as a hard-headed, practical man of business. And I say there isn't a chance of war. The world's developing so fast that it'll make war impossible. Look at the progress we're making. In a year or two we'll have aeroplanes that can go anywhere. And look at the way the automobile is making headway, bigger and faster all the time. And ships. Why a friend of mine went over this new liner last week- forty six thousand eight hundred tons- forty six thousand eight hundred tons- New York in 5 days -and every luxury- and unsinkable, absolutely unsinkable. That's what you've got to keep your eye on. Facts like that, Progress like that. And not a few German officers here talking nonsense and a few scaremongers here making a fuss about nothing. Now you three young people listen to this- and remember what I am telling you now. in twenty or thirty years time, let's say in the forties, you may be giving a little party like this- your son or daughter might be getting engaged- and I tell you by that time we'll be living in a world that will have forgotten all these Capital v. Labor agitations and all these silly little war scares. There will be peace and prosperity and rapid progress everywhere, except of course in Russia which will always be behind hand naturally.

Front 17

Yes dear- I know.

Back 17

Yes, my dear, I know- I'm talking too much. But we can't let these Bernard Shaws and HG Wellses do all the talking. We hard-headed practical business men must say something sometime. And we don't guess - we've had experience - and we know.

Front 18

MRS: Eric, I want you a minute.

Back 18

Cigar?

Front 19

GERALD: I can't really enjoy them.

Back 19

Ah, you don't know what you're missing. I like a good cigar. Help yourself to the port.

Front 20

GERALD: Thanks.

Back 20

By the way, there's something I'd like to mention -in strict confidence- while we are by ourselves. I have an idea that your mother- Lady Croft- while she doesn't object to my girl, feels you might have done better for yourself socially- No, Gerald, that's alright. Don't blame her. She comes from and old county family -landed people and so forth- so it's only natural. But what I wanted to say is- there's a fair chance I might find my way onto the next honors list. Just a knighthood, of course.

Front 21

GERALD: Oh- I say- Congratulations!

Back 21

Thanks, but it's a bit too early for that. So don't say anything. But I've had a hint or two. You see, I was Lord Mayor two years ago when Royalty visited us and I've always been regarded as a sound, useful party man. So- well- I gather there's a very good chance of a knight hood- so long as we behave ourselves don't get into the police court or start a scandal, eh?

Front 22

GERALD: You seem to be a very well behaved family to me-

Back 22

We think we are-

Front 23

GERALD: I think you might as well accept my congratulations now.

Back 23

Thank you. No, no, I couldn't do that. And don't say anything yet.

Front 24

GERALD: I know she'd be delighted.

Back 24

Well, when she comes back, you might drop a hint to her.

Front 25

ERIC: What's up? Started telling your stories yet?

Back 25

No. Want another glass of port?

Front 26

ERIC: Women are potty about them.

Back 26

Yes, but you've got to remember my boy that clothes mean something quite different to a woman. Not just something to wear- and not only something to make 'em look prettier- but- well a sort of sign or token of their self-respect.

Front 27

ERIC: Yes, I remember-

Back 27

Well, what do you remember?

Front 28

ERIC: Nothing.

Back 28

Nothing?

Front 29

GERALD: Sounds a bit fishy to me.

Back 29

Yes, you don't know what some of there boys get up to nowadays. More money to spend and time to spare than I had when I was Eric's age. They worked us hard in those days and kept us short of cash. Though even then- we broke out and had a bit of fun sometimes.

Front 30

GERALD: I'll bet you did.

Back 30

But this is the point. I don't want to lecture you two young fellows again, but what so many of you don't seem to understand now that things are so much easier, is that a man has to make his own way, has to look after himself- and his family, too, of course- when he has one -and so long as he does that he won't come to much harm. But the way some of these cranks talk and write now, you'd think everybody has to look after everybody else, as if we were all mixed up together like bees in a hive- a man has to mind his own business and look after himself and his own- and-

Front 31

ERIC: Somebody at the front door.

Back 31

All right, Eric. Edna'll answer it. Well, have another glass of port, Gerald- and then we'll join the ladies. That'll stop me giving you good advice.

Front 32

ERIC: Yes, you've piled it on a bit tonight, Father.

Back 32

Special occasion, and feeling contented for once, I wanted you to have the benefit of my experience.

Front 33

EDNA: Please, sir.

Back 33

Yes?

Front 34

EDNA: An Inspector's called.

Back 34

An Inspector? What kind of Inspector?

Front 35

EDNA: Yes, sir. He says it's important.

Back 35

All right, Edna. Show him in here. It may be something about a warrant. I'm still on the Bench.

Front 36

GERALD: And that would be very awkward wouldn't it?

Back 36

Very.

Front 37

ERIC: Well, I don't think it's very funny.

Back 37

What's the matter with you?

Front 38

INS: Mr. Birling?

Back 38

Good evening, Inspector. You're new, aren't you?

Front 39

INS: Yes sir, only recently transferred.

Back 39

I thought you must be. I was an alderman for years- and Lord Mayor two years ago- and I'm still on the bench- so I know the Brumley police officers pretty well- and I thought I'd never seen you before.

Front 40

INS: Quite so.

Back 40

Yes. Sit down Inspector.

Front 41

INS: Thank you, sir.

Back 41

Have a glass of port, or a little whiskey.

Front 42

No, thank you, Mr. Birling. I'm on duty.

Back 42

Well, what can I do for you? Some trouble about a warrant?

Front 43

INS: No, Mr. Birling.

Back 43

Well, what is it then?

Front 44

INS: Suicide, of course.

Back 44

Yes, yes. Horrible business. But I don't understand why you should come here, Inspector-

Front 45

INS: But her original name- her real name- was Eva Smith.

Back 45

Eva Smith?

Front 46

INS: Do you remember her Mr. Birling?

Back 46

No- I seem to remember hearing that name- Eva Smith- somewhere. But it doesn't convey anything to me. And I don't see where I come into this.

Front 47

INS: She was employed in your works at one time.

Back 47

Oh- that's it, is it? Well, we've several hundred young women there, y'know, and they keep changing.

Front 48

ERIC: Neither can I.

Back 48

And I must say I agree with them, Inspector.

Front 49

INS: Otherwise there is a muddle.

Back 49

I see. I think you've had enough of that port, Eric?

Front 50

INS: I think you remember Eva Smith now, don't you, Mr. Birling?

Back 50

Yes, I do. She was one of my employees, and then I discharged her.

Front 51

ERIC: When was this Father?

Back 51

Just keep quiet, Eric, and don't get excited. This girl left us nearly two years ago. Let me see- it must have been in the early autumn of 1910.

Front 52

INS: Yes. End of September, 1910.

Back 52

That's right.

Front 53

GERALD: Wouldn't you rather I was out of this?

Back 53

I don't mind you being here, Gerald. And I'm sure you've no objection, have you, Inspector? Perhaps I ought to explain first that this is Mr. Gerald Croft- son of Sir George Croft- you know Crofts Limited.

Front 54

INS: Mr. Gerald Croft?

Back 54

Yes. Incidentally, we've been modestly celebrating his engagement to my daughter Sheila.

Front 55

GERALD: Oh- all right.

Back 55

Look- there's nothing mysterious- about this business- at least not so far as I'm concerned. It's a perfectly straight forward case, and as it happened more than eighteen months ago- nearly two years ago- obviously it has nothing whatever to do with the wretched girl's suicide. Eh, Inspector?

Front 56

INS: No, sir. I can't agree with you there.

Back 56

Why not?

Front 57

INS: A chain of events.

Back 57

Oh, well- put like that, there's something in what you say. Still, I can't accept any responsibility. If we were all responsible for everything that happened to everybody we'd had anything to do with, it would be very awkward wouldn't it?

Front 58

INS: Very awkward.

Back 58

We'd all be in an impossible position wouldn't we?

Front 59

ERIC: A man has to look after himself-

Back 59

Yes, well, we needn't go into all that.

Front 60

INS: Go into what?

Back 60

Oh- just before you came- I'd been giving these young men a little good advice. Now- about this girl, Eva Smith. I remember her quite well now. She was a lively good looking girl- country bred, I fancy- and she'd been working in one of our machine shops for over a year. A good worker, too. In fact, the foreman there told me he was ready to promote her into what we call a leading operator- head of a small group of girls. But after they came back from their holidays that August, they were all rather restless, and they suddenly decided to ask for more money. They were averaging about twenty-two shilling, which was neither more nor less than is paid generally in our industry. They wanted the rates raised so that they could average about twenty-five shillings a week. I refused, of course.

Front 61

INS: Why?

Back 61

What! Did you say "Why"?

Front 62

INS: Yes, why did you refuse?

Back 62

Well, Inspector, I don't see that it's any concern of yours how I choose to run my business. Is it now?

Front 63

INS: It might be you know.

Back 63

I don't like that tone.

Front 64

INS: I'm sorry. But you asked me a question.

Back 64

And you asked me a question too, before that, a quite unnecessary question, too.

Front 65

INS: It's my duty to ask questions.

Back 65

Well, it's my duty to keep labor costs down, and if I'd agreed to this demand for a new rate we'd have added about twelve percent to our labor costs. Does that satisfy you? So I refused, said I couldn't consider it. We were paying the usual rates and if they didn't like those rates, they could go and work somewhere else. It's a free country I told them.

Front 66

INS: Quite so.

Back 66

Look- you just keep out of this. You hadn't even started in the works when this happened. So they went on strike. That didn't last long, of course.

Front 67

GERALD: They'd be all broke- if I know them.

Back 67

Right, Gerald. They mostly were. And so was the strike, after a week or two. Pitiful affair. Well, we forgave them, we let them all come back- at the old rates- except the four or five ringleaders, who'd started the trouble. I went down myself and told them to clear out. And this girl, Eva Smith, was one of them. She'd a lot to say, I remember- far too much- so she had to go.

Front 68

ERIC: I call it tough luck.

Back 68

Rubbish! If you don't come down sharply on some of these people, they'd soon be asking for the earth.

Front 69

INS: But after all it's better to ask for the earth than to take it.

Back 69

What did you say your name was, Inspector?

Front 70

INS: Goole.

Back 70

Goole, how do you get along with our Chief Constable? Colonel Roberts?

Front 71

INS: I don't see much of him.

Back 71

Perhaps I ought to warn you that he's an old friend of mine, and I see him fairly frequently. We play golf together sometimes up at the West Brumley.

Front 72

INS: I don't play golf.

Back 72

I didn't suppose you did.

Front 73

ERIC: I'd have let her stay.

Back 73

Unless you brighten your ideas, you'll never be in a position to let anybody stay or to tell anybody to go. It's about time you learnt to face a few responsibilities. That's something this public school and Varsity life you've had doesn't seem to have taught.

Front 74

ERIC: Well, we don't need to tell the Inspector all about that, do we?

Back 74

I don't see we need to tell the Inspector anything more. In fact, there's nothing I can tell him. I told the girl to clear out, and she went. That's the last I heard of her. Have you any idea what happened to her after that? Get into trouble? Go on the streets?

Front 75

SHEILA: Mommy sent me in to ask why you didn't come along to the drawing room?

Back 75

We shall be along in a minute now. Just finishing.

Front 76

INS: I'm afraid not.

Back 76

There's nothing else, y'know. I've just told you that.

Front 77

SHEILA: What's all this about?

Back 77

Nothing to do with you, Sheila. Run along.

Front 78

INS: No, wait a minute, Miss Birling.

Back 78

Look here, Inspector, I consider this uncalled for and officious. I've half a mind to report you. I've told you all I know- and it doesn't seem to me very important- and now there isn't the slightest reason why my daughter should be dragged into this unpleasant business.

Front 79

INS: She felt she couldn't go on any longer.

Back 79

Well, don't tell me that;s because I discharged her from my employment nearly two years ago.

Front 80

SHEILA: Did you, Dad?

Back 80

Yes. The girl had been causing trouble in the works. I was quite justified.

Front 81

INS: She wasn't pretty when I saw her today, but she had been pretty- very pretty.

Back 81

That's enough of that.

Front 82

GERALD: It's what happened to her since she left Mr. Birling's works that is important.

Back 82

Obviously. I suggested that some time ago.

Front 83

INS: Are you sure you don't know?

Back 83

And are you suggesting now that one of them knows something about this girl?

Front 84

INS: Yes.

Back 84

You didn't come here just to see me then?

Front 85

INS: No.

Back 85

Well, of course, if I'd know that earlier, I wouldn't have called you officious or talked about reporting you. You understand that, don't you, Inspector? I thought that- for some reason best know to yourself- you were making the most out of this tiny bit of information I could give you. I'm sorry. This makes a difference. You sure of your facts?

Front 86

INS: Some of them- yes.

Back 86

They don't seem to amount to very much, though. Do they?

Front 87

SHEILA: You talk as if we were responsible-

Back 87

Just a minute, Sheila. Now, Inspector, perhaps you and I had better go and talk this over quietly in a corner-

Front 88

SHEILA: He says it's one of us now.

Back 88

Yes, and I'm trying to settle it sensibly for you.

Front 89

SHEILA: Perhaps that spoilt everything for her.

Back 89

Do you happen to know what became of her after she left my employment?

Front 90

SHEILA: Yes, of course.

Back 90

And then she got herself into trouble there, I suppose?

Front 91

INS: They told her she'd have to go.

Back 91

Not doing her work properly?

Front 92

INS: They admitted that.

Back 92

There must have been something wrong?

Front 93

INS: If you'll come over here I'll show you.

Back 93

What's the matter with her? Why the devil do you want to go upsetting the child like that?

Front 94

INS: She's upsetting herself.

Back 94

Well- why- why?

Front 95

INS: That's something I have to find out.

Back 95

Well- if you don't mind- I'll find out first.

Front 96

GERALD: Shall I go to her?

Back 96

No, leave this to me. I must also have a word with my wife- tell her what's happening. We were having a nice family celebration tonight. And a nasty mess you've made of it now, haven't you?

Front 97

INS: That's more or less what I was thinking earlier tonight.

Back 97

What?