The strengths of the book are the rich and detailed backstories that are created for most of the core characters and their diverse personalities, their complex inner struggles, and their relationships with each other. A captivating portrait of world and the characters is well described. Each main character has great turmoil.
What works nicely is the idea of the relationship between Big Jim and Big T, but the audience wants to see more of this in real time, vs. being told about their friendship. One wants to watch them meet for the first time and see how they came up with the idea of working together. The audience wants to see their bond with each other and hear what they say when they have a conflict. They are both nicely established as rather …show more content…
Alberta. He’s also a proud man. His relationship with Sonny, however, isn’t as well highlighted.
The relationship between Sonny and Terry Lee Jr. is intriguing. They have a strong bond with each other and consider each other brothers. The parallel relationships are nicely crafted (Big Jim/Big T and Sonny/Terry Lee Jr.). As stated, one wants to watch Sonny and Terry stealing and getting into trouble together. Some of this is done in the scenes with the Gang and when they are escaping in the car.
These scenes are the most interesting and compelling (and hold the most tension) because they come more to life.
The subplot regarding Terry Lee Jr.’s need for revenge is also a plotline that has very strong potential, but could be more developed. He has a strong motivation to want revenge for the murder of Garrett. He plans to get closer to the Klan. There’s a big opportunity to show him trying to get closer, and almost getting caught spying on them. Or maybe he actually tries to kill Mosgrove and his plan fails. Currently, it may not be clear to the audience why Terry pushes Sonny out of the car. One believes it was a moral sacrifice to save Sonny. As mentioned, one wants to see more of Terry Lee Jr. and his bond with his own son. It would have been nice to see Little T’s reaction to his father not coming back …show more content…
Mainly, there are a lot of missing commas before the word “but.” On page 11, no need to Cap the word “Liquor” (However, liquor was becoming more and more). On page 22, it looks like the word “but” (“buuuut”) is misspelled, unless it’s intentional. On page 74, the name “lee” should be “Lee” (before Terry Lee confronted him.”). On page 156, it should be “course” vs. “corse”.
On another note, it may benefit the book to name the chapters. The chapters could be named after the character or event that the particular chapter covers. For example, the first chapter could be titled “Billy Ray.”
Maybe one chapter is “Sonny and Terry Lee Jr.” The diagram of the major events during the time period is interesting, but what would really help is a family tree.
In summary, regarding the book, it’s a creative choice to tell the story like a journal or recollections of memories, letters, interviews, and events, but consider bringing the story more to life by showing the characters in action. Show the “coon hunt” of Little Josh and show the hanging of Billy Ray. Show how Terry Lee Jr. plans to bring down the Klan. This will enhance the emotional response and connection. Again, it’s just a artistic choice regarding the structure and
What works nicely is the idea of the relationship between Big Jim and Big T, but the audience wants to see more of this in real time, vs. being told about their friendship. One wants to watch them meet for the first time and see how they came up with the idea of working together. The audience wants to see their bond with each other and hear what they say when they have a conflict. They are both nicely established as rather …show more content…
Alberta. He’s also a proud man. His relationship with Sonny, however, isn’t as well highlighted.
The relationship between Sonny and Terry Lee Jr. is intriguing. They have a strong bond with each other and consider each other brothers. The parallel relationships are nicely crafted (Big Jim/Big T and Sonny/Terry Lee Jr.). As stated, one wants to watch Sonny and Terry stealing and getting into trouble together. Some of this is done in the scenes with the Gang and when they are escaping in the car.
These scenes are the most interesting and compelling (and hold the most tension) because they come more to life.
The subplot regarding Terry Lee Jr.’s need for revenge is also a plotline that has very strong potential, but could be more developed. He has a strong motivation to want revenge for the murder of Garrett. He plans to get closer to the Klan. There’s a big opportunity to show him trying to get closer, and almost getting caught spying on them. Or maybe he actually tries to kill Mosgrove and his plan fails. Currently, it may not be clear to the audience why Terry pushes Sonny out of the car. One believes it was a moral sacrifice to save Sonny. As mentioned, one wants to see more of Terry Lee Jr. and his bond with his own son. It would have been nice to see Little T’s reaction to his father not coming back …show more content…
Mainly, there are a lot of missing commas before the word “but.” On page 11, no need to Cap the word “Liquor” (However, liquor was becoming more and more). On page 22, it looks like the word “but” (“buuuut”) is misspelled, unless it’s intentional. On page 74, the name “lee” should be “Lee” (before Terry Lee confronted him.”). On page 156, it should be “course” vs. “corse”.
On another note, it may benefit the book to name the chapters. The chapters could be named after the character or event that the particular chapter covers. For example, the first chapter could be titled “Billy Ray.”
Maybe one chapter is “Sonny and Terry Lee Jr.” The diagram of the major events during the time period is interesting, but what would really help is a family tree.
In summary, regarding the book, it’s a creative choice to tell the story like a journal or recollections of memories, letters, interviews, and events, but consider bringing the story more to life by showing the characters in action. Show the “coon hunt” of Little Josh and show the hanging of Billy Ray. Show how Terry Lee Jr. plans to bring down the Klan. This will enhance the emotional response and connection. Again, it’s just a artistic choice regarding the structure and