The first evidence we see of this is shortly after the narrator finds out that Sonny has been using heroin. He thinks to himself “I couldn't believe it...I couldn’t find room for it anywhere inside me...I hadn’t wanted to know. I had had my suspicions, but I didn’t name them, I kept putting them away” (Baldwin 42) In this quote we begin to see that the narrator did not do everything in is power to prevent Sonny’s drug problem. Therefore, he starts to have an internal guilt that Sonny’s problems aren’t just Sonny’s fault, but partially his own. When the narrator picks Sonny up after he has been released from rehab the narrator recalls a memory from his early childhood. The memory is of Sonny’s first steps he takes. Sonny walks from his mother to the narrator and the narrator catches him just before he falls (Baldwin 46). This flashback to the narrator's childhood is used as symbolism. When Sonny walked from his mother to the narrator it was symbolizing Sonny’s primary caregiver changing from his mother to the narrator, since we later find out his mother dies while Sonny is high school. When the narrator catches him right before he falls it symbolizes how the is narrator stepping into Sonny’s life after rehab to help him recover so he does not completely lose control of his life. Towards the end of the story the narrator is pacing back and forth in …show more content…
For example, the narrator admits he was reluctant to write Sonny in rehab when he says “ And I didn’t write Sonny or send him anything for a long time. When I finally did, it was right after my little girl died” (Baldwin 45). It becomes apparent that the narrator could not find the guts to write Sonny who was locked up in rehab for something the narrator saw to be his fault. It was not until the narrator’s own daughter died that he felt he could write, and how could Sonny possibly blame him for his current situation when he had just lost a child, and Sonny a niece? Another action that shows the guilt consuming the narrator is his reaction when he reads about Sonny’s problem with drugs in the news paper. He says “I read about it in the paper, in the subway, on my way to work… I couldn’t believe it… I just stared at it.. I stared at it in the swinging lights of the subwaycar, and the faces and bodies of people, and in my own face, trapped in the darkness which roared outside” (Baldwin 41). The narrator and Sonny did not have a good relationship as adults. The way the narrator reacts to the information about Sonny shows that not only does he care but he feels trapped and like he is out of Sonny’s life and because of that he was not there to help him with his drug problem before it got out of hand. Soon after the narrator finds out about Sonny’s condition he is at a bar and is watching