Reflective Essay On Intimate Relationships

In my 22 years of living I have been involved in my fair share of intimate relationships. Dr. Mendenhall has explained that an intimate relationship is sharing intimate experiences in several areas over time with increasing expectations (T. Mendenhall, Intimacy lecture, 1//20/16). When I looked at it that way I came to the conclusion that I can be in an intimate relationship with my parents, siblings, friends, and some of my cousins whom I am close to. The first of many of the ideas that I have learned in this class is the type of attachment that I have. Dr. Mendenhall explained that there were different types of attachment styles and after taking the attachment style test online I found out that my style was dismissive. Some of the attributes …show more content…
I replace having intimate relationships with having quick relationships, meaning that I can get close to anyone that I find to be a good person and share my thoughts and ideas with them. I am constantly an open book sharing my experiences with anyone who will listen. I do have many intimate relationships with people that I care about but it was never something that I needed to survive. I could be alone and be emotionally sufficient. People ask me questions such as how I could eat lunch by myself and I just wonder why not? I enjoy my time alone but I also enjoy the company of people, it’s just not a …show more content…
For me Pragma and Eros love styles were the most evident of the six possible love styles. The easiest way to explain having a pragma love style is that love is based on a shopping list the more you qualify for the more likely the person will be interested in you (T. Mendenhall what is intimacy lecture, 1/28/2016). Having a pragma love style to me means exactly that. First, the person I am interested in must be of a similar background as me mainly in a religious context. We must be of the same faith. The second thing is that I must find this man to be able to handle a family financially. Realistically speaking if I end up marrying this person I would love to have kids and while I stay at home and raise the children I want my family to live a comfortable life. I don’t want to be the main source of income for my family. I would love it if both of us could provide for the family in a way that if one of us was not able to do it the other would provide enough for our family. The third thing is he must be attractive. This is a brief overview of what my love style means in my world. I cannot really look at everyone as a possible partner. They must pass the list in order for me to consider if I could be in a serious relationship with this