A a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a The Quest for Unachievable Perfection
All I could hear was the pounding beats of my heart, quickening with each passing moment, my own separate universe. The digital glow of the screen glossed over the entirety of the reality around me, painting me with a ghostly appearance sitting in my desperate, anxiety-fueled state, paralyzed, the loading icon going around, and around, and around (Repetition for Effect). Ages seemed to pass as I was waiting, only to see those numbers on the screen which I was completely unaware would crush me. “How did I receive a 77?,” I could not help but beckon aloud to the hollow room the question only myself could answer. The response was my own weightless words echoed cruelly back, …show more content…
I was quite aware I always placed myself to irrationally high standards; however, I just could not help it (1a). For the rest of the night my emotions continued to morph from upset, disappointed, mad, confused, frustrated, and everything in between. The thought, if only I had done better, rang through my mind endlessly (Italics for emphasization). I had always done impeccably in medical classes, and I fully expected this EMS class to be the same. My desire to learn and the ease of which I did, lent itself perfectly well for my Medical Assisting class; I had straight A's, in addition to Student of the Quarter, and ultimately, Student of the Year. I vented to anyone who would listen,“I don’t understand this grade; I understand the material!” Pulling my person out of my black hole of self-pity, I decided no longer would I allow myself to be discouraged. Everyday during class I would be at full attention, asking questions, being involved. Every night I would be found scrutinizing each and every single line on my notes, reading and re-reading the chapters of the book, ordering myself to act as a machine, to turn off my cancerous emotions－all in preparation to destroy any doubt in my mind, I would seize an A on the module exam. This new type of testing was beginning to click. The day of the module exam was here far too quickly. I glanced …show more content…
Regardless of what caused my mindset, I have changed since then. I have not completely rid myself of that aspect of my personality; however, being an overachiever is not a negative anymore. I shall still strive for perfection, but the definition has changed. Perfection is not a utopian ideal, true utopias do not exist for a reason, as Sir Thomas Moore has taught us (Allusion). All we can do as people is not strive for perfection, but strive to commit to the time-tested honor of doing our best
All I could hear was the pounding beats of my heart, quickening with each passing moment, my own separate universe. The digital glow of the screen glossed over the entirety of the reality around me, painting me with a ghostly appearance sitting in my desperate, anxiety-fueled state, paralyzed, the loading icon going around, and around, and around (Repetition for Effect). Ages seemed to pass as I was waiting, only to see those numbers on the screen which I was completely unaware would crush me. “How did I receive a 77?,” I could not help but beckon aloud to the hollow room the question only myself could answer. The response was my own weightless words echoed cruelly back, …show more content…
I was quite aware I always placed myself to irrationally high standards; however, I just could not help it (1a). For the rest of the night my emotions continued to morph from upset, disappointed, mad, confused, frustrated, and everything in between. The thought, if only I had done better, rang through my mind endlessly (Italics for emphasization). I had always done impeccably in medical classes, and I fully expected this EMS class to be the same. My desire to learn and the ease of which I did, lent itself perfectly well for my Medical Assisting class; I had straight A's, in addition to Student of the Quarter, and ultimately, Student of the Year. I vented to anyone who would listen,“I don’t understand this grade; I understand the material!” Pulling my person out of my black hole of self-pity, I decided no longer would I allow myself to be discouraged. Everyday during class I would be at full attention, asking questions, being involved. Every night I would be found scrutinizing each and every single line on my notes, reading and re-reading the chapters of the book, ordering myself to act as a machine, to turn off my cancerous emotions－all in preparation to destroy any doubt in my mind, I would seize an A on the module exam. This new type of testing was beginning to click. The day of the module exam was here far too quickly. I glanced …show more content…
Regardless of what caused my mindset, I have changed since then. I have not completely rid myself of that aspect of my personality; however, being an overachiever is not a negative anymore. I shall still strive for perfection, but the definition has changed. Perfection is not a utopian ideal, true utopias do not exist for a reason, as Sir Thomas Moore has taught us (Allusion). All we can do as people is not strive for perfection, but strive to commit to the time-tested honor of doing our best