Examples Of Emotional Grooming In Abusive Relationships

Emotional Grooming in Abusive Relationships The concept behind the prevention of an abusive relationship is becoming increasingly prevalent in the media. Documentaries, blogs and self-help articles give warning signs known as red flags to be aware of traits of an abusive relationship such as jealousy, isolation, possessiveness, battery or the use of force in sexual or playful situations (Kay, 2015). However, these examples are oftentimes not easily detected unless the victim is already too heavily involved in the abuse. This leaves people with an abundance of information on how to recognize relationships that are actively dangerous rather than giving knowledge that will prevent becoming a victim in the first place. Before one can address …show more content…
In this way, the abuse is more impulsive and unpredictable. However, many abusive relationships begin with a very calculated effort on the part of the abuser known as emotional grooming. Grooming is the process by which the aggressor uses manipulation to give the victim a sense of security or purpose in order to comply with the aggressor’s needs. By using tactics which appeal to the victim’s innate sense of empathy, the aggressor can be very convincing and have an irresistibly charming quality which would not typically be associated with abuse. First, the aggressor must establish a sense of mutual trust so that s/he may easily shift into playing with the victim’s mind. A common way of doing this would be if the aggressor revealed some form of mistreatment in his/her past, true or otherwise, such as abuse from a relative or an unfaithful ex-lover. This insight not only gives the victim incentive to be more open and trusting but also creates a sense of duty to protect the aggressor and aid them in healing (Staik, 2013). Another way emotional grooming can be used is when the abuser approaches his/her potential partner under the façade that s/he is a protecting figure. This tactic is often put into play to take control of those who may have been hurt in the past and therefore would be more …show more content…
Regardless of if the abuse was emotional, verbal, physical or sexual, if the victim can escape the relationship and seek help, more often than not he/she can return to a semi-normal life. However, if the victim’s mentality has been broken to the point where they regard themselves as deserving of the abuse, it is very difficult to get them to leave the relationship in the first place. Dehumanization is when the victim begins to believe that they are less than human and do not have the same rights as other people (Maiese, 2003). These feelings stem from the victim being told that any misconduct on the part of their abuser is their