She rubbed her wrist with bony fingers, circling the bumps on her skin. Her memory wandered to the time she drew them- the scars that marked her for life.
She picked up the kitchen knife she left on the base of the sink and casually pricked her flesh with the tip- like how doctors pinched your skin before jabbing the needle in. Metal pressed against vein.
Her breathing made her wince as her lungs waned from the pressure of oxygen.
When's the last time you slept? She asked herself.
Her mind was void with thoughts of comfort. So instead, she tried to remember joy. Not of pleasure or leisure, but the simple hold of a kind person or a moment in time when she was not afraid. Tears welled up from the rim of her eyes as memories flashed before …show more content…
She choked on something that sounded like vomit. It gashed against her throat and she held it with her lips, afraid she would cough a mouthful of blood. Her head began to waver, and everything dimmed. But getting experienced to the pain, she was able to stay conscious. Her temples throbbed, and her sweat felt like acid. She wanted to cry, but her eyes were dry. Her gums tasted like iron, and the sensation made her jerk, before finally letting it all out in a horrific gush at the floor.The blood sounded like jelly on the damp floor. She looked down at the mess. Her hands froze, then they shook viciously. Her eyes flickered the way lamp lights did outside the motel. She waited for the whole thing to come to focus, for her mind to register the thoughts. It was only a matter of time now. She had let blood crease her arm and gather down her elbow. Droplets splash on the puddle she had made. She feels the sudden urge to glance at the mirror. It was a mistake. She saw what her stepfather saw, what he reminded her of with his fists, boots, baseball bat...- a freak. A sad, pathetic, blood-rinsed freak that was too scared to run. She was still gripping the knife when she heard a violent knock on the …show more content…
What's taking you so long? How hard's that shit you're taking? Come on, hurry your ass up."
His voice was followed by the sound of kicking on the lower part of the door. The wood shook close to cracking. She knew that if she didn't open the door long enough that he would get the owner to unlock it, or worse, break it down. She had no time to waste. Annie raised the knife again, this time in an arc directed at the center of her heart. Cutting her wrists might take too long.
She drove it down, forcing all her energy to block the natural desire to live. It went smoothly. So smoothly she thought it might even pass through. At the time, nothing cou
ld have stopped her, not with all the will in the world. But it did, right on her skin, and it tingled from cold metal.
The room is quiet, beside her throbbing heartbeat. She knew he didn't leave, because he would always slam the door on the way out.
There was still an impulse to die, but the intent had slowly dissipated, having been replaced by a cautious curiosity. Why did he stop? What happened? Even if he had decided not to break the door down, he surely wouldn't just shut up. Something is wrong. Annie waited a whole 30 seconds. She began to count-
30...29...28...
Nothing but the dripping sound of her own
She picked up the kitchen knife she left on the base of the sink and casually pricked her flesh with the tip- like how doctors pinched your skin before jabbing the needle in. Metal pressed against vein.
Her breathing made her wince as her lungs waned from the pressure of oxygen.
When's the last time you slept? She asked herself.
Her mind was void with thoughts of comfort. So instead, she tried to remember joy. Not of pleasure or leisure, but the simple hold of a kind person or a moment in time when she was not afraid. Tears welled up from the rim of her eyes as memories flashed before …show more content…
She choked on something that sounded like vomit. It gashed against her throat and she held it with her lips, afraid she would cough a mouthful of blood. Her head began to waver, and everything dimmed. But getting experienced to the pain, she was able to stay conscious. Her temples throbbed, and her sweat felt like acid. She wanted to cry, but her eyes were dry. Her gums tasted like iron, and the sensation made her jerk, before finally letting it all out in a horrific gush at the floor.The blood sounded like jelly on the damp floor. She looked down at the mess. Her hands froze, then they shook viciously. Her eyes flickered the way lamp lights did outside the motel. She waited for the whole thing to come to focus, for her mind to register the thoughts. It was only a matter of time now. She had let blood crease her arm and gather down her elbow. Droplets splash on the puddle she had made. She feels the sudden urge to glance at the mirror. It was a mistake. She saw what her stepfather saw, what he reminded her of with his fists, boots, baseball bat...- a freak. A sad, pathetic, blood-rinsed freak that was too scared to run. She was still gripping the knife when she heard a violent knock on the …show more content…
What's taking you so long? How hard's that shit you're taking? Come on, hurry your ass up."
His voice was followed by the sound of kicking on the lower part of the door. The wood shook close to cracking. She knew that if she didn't open the door long enough that he would get the owner to unlock it, or worse, break it down. She had no time to waste. Annie raised the knife again, this time in an arc directed at the center of her heart. Cutting her wrists might take too long.
She drove it down, forcing all her energy to block the natural desire to live. It went smoothly. So smoothly she thought it might even pass through. At the time, nothing cou
ld have stopped her, not with all the will in the world. But it did, right on her skin, and it tingled from cold metal.
The room is quiet, beside her throbbing heartbeat. She knew he didn't leave, because he would always slam the door on the way out.
There was still an impulse to die, but the intent had slowly dissipated, having been replaced by a cautious curiosity. Why did he stop? What happened? Even if he had decided not to break the door down, he surely wouldn't just shut up. Something is wrong. Annie waited a whole 30 seconds. She began to count-
30...29...28...
Nothing but the dripping sound of her own