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33 Cards in this Set
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Attraction and intimacy Why do people form relationships with others? |
Humans are social animals who have a basic need to be accepted and included |
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Need to belong |
a motivation to bond with others in relationships that provide ongoing positive interactions -having close social ties is associated with being happier and more satisfied --- not having them is associated with loneliness, depression, worse physical health, and shorter lifespan |
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Interpersonal attraction |
a positive attitude held by one person toward another |
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What factors leading to liking, friendship, or attraction? |
1) proximity 2) physical attractiveness 3) similarity in attitudes 4) reciprocity 5) conditioning |
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proximity |
geographical nearness - reasons that proximity plays a role in attraction --mere exposure -- more opportunities to meet and interact -Functional distance: how often peoples paths cross --determines whether or not we will get a chance to know someone |
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Proximity: if you're new in town and want to make friends, try to get an apartment by the mailboxes or a desk near the coffeepot --high traffic areas offer more opportunities to meet and interact with other people |
Interaction: enables people to explore their similarities, sense one another's liking, and perceive themselves as a social unit |
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Mere exposure effect : the more familiar a stimulus is, the more favorable it is What is your favorite letter(s)? What is your favorite number(s)? -- people's favorite letters of the alphabet are letters that appear in their own name and their favorite numbers are those that appear in their birthdays |
the tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively after the rater has been repeatedly exposed to them -this exposure can be conscious or unconscious -the mere exposure effect breeds fondness because familiarity is associated with the level of psychological comfort |
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Physical attractiveness |
intelligent, education, and sophisticated people- like ourselves- know that beauty is only skin deep and that looks don't matter or do we? while we know that this is how we should think, much research supports a different conclusion: that looks do matter and they influence us in more way than might be readily apparent |
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Physical attractiveness is the best short-term predictor of liing |
physical attractiveness of partner is the best predictor of date satisfaction for males (sprecher &duck, 1994) |
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Walster et al. (1969) |
arranged for college students to dance with a blind date --- after interviewing the students, researchers found that the ones happiest with their date were those paired with an attractive partner (correlation for date satisfaction and date attractiveness: r=+0.9) |
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Attractiveness strongly affects first impressions |
Numerous studies have indicated that whether or not interviewers admit it (or are even aware of it) attractiveness affects impressions in job interviews -this may help explain why attractive people have prestigious jobs and higher salaries -however, since the data is correlational.. -maybe attractive people are more confident because of how they are treated, not because of their looks -their confidence may drive them to seek higher status jobs |
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Roszell et al. (1990) |
-looked at sample of employees whom interviewers had rated on a scale of 1-5 -researchers found that for each additional unit of rated attractiveness, employees earned on average an additional $2000 per year |
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Stereotype: the physical attractiveness stereotype is the presumption that physically attractive people possess other socially desirable traits |
"what is beautiful is good" -the belief that those who are attractive are: More successful, intelligent (attractive males), better adjusted, more socially skilled, outgoing, happier, interesting, more exciting, and more sexual -however, beautiful people are not considered to be more honest or more concerned for others -in addition, attractive people are considered to be more vain, egotistical, and less intelligent (attractive females) |
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Physical attractiveness stereotype Kalich (1977) |
had college students rate eight women based on their profile photographs before and after they had cosmetic surgery -not only did the participants judge the women as more attractive post-surgery, but also rated them as kinder, more sensitive, warmer, more responsive, more likable, and so on |
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is there truth to the physical attractiveness stereotype? attractive people do tend to be more outgoing, socially skillful, likable, and popular -however, this may result from the self-fulfilling prophecy (when a person unknowingly causes a prediction to come true, due to the simple fact that he or she expects it to come true) |
attractive people are valued and favored, so many develop more self-confidence because other people treat them more positively -by this analysis, whats crucial to your social skill is not how you look, but how people treat you and how you feel about yourself |
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self-fulfilling prophecy research- |
group1- photo of attractive female-> males more sociable group 2- onto of unattractive female-> males were uncomfortable |
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The matching phenomenon: |
the tendency for people to choose as partners those who are a "good match" in attractiveness and other traits -people generally want as attractive of a partner as possible -however, people fear rejection from those who are more attractive because they have more dating alternatives -therefore, when choosing whom to approach, knowing that the other is free to say no, people usually approach someone whose attractiveness matches their own BUT beauty is not necessarily a stable characteristic - rather is it a complex interaction between perceiver and the person who is perceived |
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A peson's attractiveness will increase or decrease as you get to know him/her, depending on how similar to you and how likable the person is |
Attractiveness of the ones we love: -the more likable a person is, the more attractive he/she is perceived as -the more in love one is with their significant other, the more the partner is viewed as attractive -the more in love people are, the less attractive they find others to be |
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Similarity "attitude alignment" |
helps promote and sustain close relationships
- we tend to like those who are similar to us |
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reciprocity- we like those who like us; related to the need to belong; we want to feel liked and accepted |
Ceifna |
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Conditioning - association with positive or negative stimulus influences attractiveness |
negative mood leads to lower attractiveness ratings (Byrne & Clore, 1970) |
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Implicit egoism |
a preference for stimuli that are connected to the self -recall that people tend to prefer letters that appear in their own names and numbers that appear in their birthday -people are more likely to marry partners whose first and last names resemble own - we re conditioned to like ourselves |
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7 main type of love based on three components, according to Sternberg |
Passion, intimacy, and commitment |
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Passionate love: a state of intense longing for union with another |
biologically aroused by someone we find attractive - emotionally exciting and intense - loves ecstatic at attaining other person's affection and distress over losing it |
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Companionate love: |
the affection we feel for those whom our lives are deeply intertwined - in some relationships, passionate love changes to a more companionate love over time -some argue that this change can disillusion some which can lead to higher divorce rates |
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Reis and shaver's definition of intimacy |
Understood: my partner sees my as I see myself Validated: my partner values what I am Cared for: my partner likes Measured through self-disclosure: process of revealing personal information to someone else |
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Disclosure reciprocity |
tendency for people to disclose information at the same level they are disclosed to by another person -disclosing to others makes us attractive to them -their disclosure to us makes them attractive to us -this process breeds trust |
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four types of attachment; secure |
-good at close relationships
-trust partners -share feelings -provide support -relationships tend to be stronger, more durable, more satisfying, and more intimate |
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Preoccupied attachment (formerly anxious/ambivalent) |
-want to be close to people but have a negative attitude towards themselves/high anxiety -"clingy" -provide lots of comfort, care, and support but sometimes more than is wanted |
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dismissing avoidant |
-see themselves as generally awesome -avoid relationships becoming too close -rely on themselves -can be seen as aloof or withdrawn -provide less care and support |
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Fearful avoidant |
-high anxiety and avoidance -low opinion of self -keep others from coming close (view people as untrustworthy, uncaring, or unavailable) -view self as unloveable -"given their issues with both self and others, this worry may be not entirely unfounded" |
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3 methods of coping with a failing relationship: |
1) loyalty 2) neglect 3) voicing concerns |
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Unrequited love: |
a situation in which a person loves another but the other does not return that love |
