To shape myself after my peers that were superior to me. If someone asked me for my opinion, I would think of what I should say rather than what I wanted to say. I did not wish to be as good as my other peers, I did not think that was possible. I just wanted to be white noise. As I said, this amuses me. Because entering high school, I was told to market myself, to tell others why I was the best candidate for a club, team, or university. After fifteen years of being told that vanity was the worst quality, I was supposed to tell others why I was the best. I supposed to make people like me when not only did I not like myself, I didn’t know myself. My facade of the average human being became my personality. I didn’t know my interests. I wasn’t terrified because of the new environment and workload, I was terrified because I could no longer living in my limbo state of
To shape myself after my peers that were superior to me. If someone asked me for my opinion, I would think of what I should say rather than what I wanted to say. I did not wish to be as good as my other peers, I did not think that was possible. I just wanted to be white noise. As I said, this amuses me. Because entering high school, I was told to market myself, to tell others why I was the best candidate for a club, team, or university. After fifteen years of being told that vanity was the worst quality, I was supposed to tell others why I was the best. I supposed to make people like me when not only did I not like myself, I didn’t know myself. My facade of the average human being became my personality. I didn’t know my interests. I wasn’t terrified because of the new environment and workload, I was terrified because I could no longer living in my limbo state of