Use LEFT and RIGHT arrow keys to navigate between flashcards;
Use UP and DOWN arrow keys to flip the card;
H to show hint;
A reads text to speech;
37 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
Researchers have been able to predict the fate of marriages in three measurement domains:
|
1. Interactive behavior 2. Perception (self-report questionnaires, interviews, and video playback) 3. physiology (the Core Triad) |
|
Define "gridlocked"
|
|
|
Patterns in marriage likely to predict divorce
|
|
|
What are some of the characteristics of "gentle startup"?
|
Accepting influence, compromise, low physiological arousal, humor, affection
|
|
What is DPA (diffuse physiological arousal)?
|
DPA includes sweating, increased heart rate, and other negative signs of physical arousal associated with a lack of ability to physiologically self-soothe.
|
|
What is the basis for "dialogue" with a perpetual issues?
|
Understanding (and dealing with) the core existential meaning of the dialogue.
|
|
What three bi-directionally working systems need to be understood?
|
1. Conflict 2. Friendship/intimacy/positive affect 3. Shared meaning |
|
Sound Relationship House Theory |
|
|
Describe the Sound Relationship House Theory.
|
1. Build Love Maps 2. Admiration and Fondness 3. Turn toward, not away 4. Positive perspective 5. Manage conflict 6. Life dreams come true 7. Shared meaning |
|
Gottman Method of Therapy |
--Ask questions about the history and philosophy of the relationship and their parent's relationships.
The therapist helps the couple down-regulate negative conflict, enhance positive affect, and create shared meaning in the relationship. 3 types of "blueprints": dealing with current conflicts, dealing with past conflicts and emotional injuries, and the last one for dealing with conflicts that have an existential basis (gridlocked conflicts). |
|
3 types of "blueprints" to guide therapy |
1. dealing with current conflicts 2. dealing with past conflicts and emotional injuries 3. dealing with conflicts that have an existential basis (gridlocked conflicts). These blueprints make explicit the skills necessary to accomplish therapeutic goals. |
|
Role of the Therapist |
The therapist is...
|
|
Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse
|
1. Contempt 2. Criticism 3. Stonewalling 4. Defensiveness |
|
Prosocial functions of conflict?
|
1. Culling out interactions that don't work 2. Helping to know one another as we change 3. Continually renewing courtship |
|
What percentage of couple conflicts are unsolvable?
|
69%
|
|
How do partners process regrettable incidents?
|
1. Taking turns talking about their feelings 2. Taking turns describing subjective realities 3. Validating part of partner's reality 4. Admitting their role in the conflict 5. Talking about one way to make the conversation better next time |
|
Most of the time couples fight about...?
|
Absolutely nothing
|
|
Antidote to criticism? (stating a problem as a deficit in the partner's character)
|
"I" statements and positively stated needs
|
|
Antidote to defensiveness? (self protection through whining *"innocent victim stance", counterattacking *righteous indignation stance",
|
Taking responsibility
|
|
Antidote to contempt? (sarcasm, name calling, direct insults, correcting partner's grammar when one is angry, put-downs)
|
respect
|
|
Antidote to stonewalling? (emotional disengagement, male with heartbeat over 100bpm)
|
self-soothing and staying emotionally engaged
|
|
Define "processing a fight" |
being able to talk about it without getting into it again. |
|
what are the five central processes that make relationships successful? |
1. down-regulate negative affect during conflict 2. up regulate negative affect during conflict 3. build positive affect during conflict 4. bridge meta-emotion mismatch 5. create and nurture a shared meaning system |
|
what is the ratio of positive to negative in a good relationship structure? |
5:1; positive to negative |
|
Openness to information and energy as well as a heightened awareness to sensual responding and memories refer to...? |
savoring of positive affect |
|
contempt and disgust might have been the basis for the evolution of....? |
morality |
|
emotion coaching is about what? |
periodically taking one's partner's emotional temperature by asking a question such as "how are you? talk to me." |
|
steps for down-regulating negative affect during conflict (interventions) |
1. repair-processing fights and regrettable incidents 2. reducing 4 horsemen 3. blueprint for speaker and listener ("I" positive statements 4. problems solving/persuasion/compromise 5. blue print for perpetual conflict/dreams w/in conflict 6. down regulating with physiological soothing |
|
steps for up regulating positive affect during conflict |
1. 5:1 2. emotional hierarchy: attention, interest, conversations, humor, affection, emotional support/empathy 3. turning toward bids 4. building love maps 5. savoring 6. daily stress-reducing conversations 7. build affection, good sex, romance, passion 8. process failed bids for emotional connection |
|
steps for bridging meta-emotion mismatches and creating shared meaning |
build rituals shared life goals |
|
what are the 2 most common errors of new therapists? |
1. not working in the moment due to being caught up in following prescribed methods 2. not understanding existential nature of the dreams within the conflict |
|
what does resistance reveal? |
where the person is stuck in his/her relationships |
|
how might resistance manifest? |
1. distrust of therapist 2. fear of intimacy |
|
Is Gottman time-limited? |
no generally not |
|
What are the six minimal beliefs? |
1. commitment is necessary 2. sexual/romantic exclusivity 3. no secrets, deceptions, betrayals 4. fairness and care 5. respect and affection 6. agreement in principle to try to meet another's wants and needs |
|
what are some of the theories Gottman draws upon? |
analytic, behavioral, existential, emotionally focused, narrative, systems |
|
emotion dismissing people value action over...? |
introspection |