It is often said that teenagers begin discovering themselves in high school, but I did the opposite- I lost myself. The source of my pleasure and delight shifted from books to parties, writing to boys, and video-games to my social life. Something within me desperately craved to be normal- to no longer be the girl that gets harassed and ostracized for being an “appalling nerd” and because of this, vital aspects of my personality began to change and I morphed into an entirely different person. Through this journey, I learned that my self-hate was a catalyst for self-love and appreciation.
Having always been considered an unusual girl in the eyes of my peers, I'd never been truly comfortable in my skin. Eventually, this uncomfortableness blossomed into self-hate that manifested itself in awkwardness. Speaking to others became a difficult task for me. The fear that I would trip on my words gave me anxiety and I would find myself stuttering, my face turning the deepest shade of rose as I began to assume …show more content…
The last time I truly felt content in my life was when I was in elementary school, before the media implanted this idea of “perfection” in my mind, before I was seen as a geek, before the sole thing that mattered was the number of someone’s followers on Instagram, before I was objectified, before I hated myself. How did I not apprehend this before? Through all of these years, I solely wanted to fit in, but why? Why would I want to suffocate my personality" just to be another face in a sea of stereotypes and uniformity? The friendships I had cultivated and all the things I had done were done under the guise of self-hate, judgment, a prolific persona, a girl who so wrongly desired to be just another face among the faces. Makeup, dieting apps, the gym, parties, validation from others were all simply obstacles I had to cross to, finally, FINALLY, realize that I am perfect just the way I am. I have been perfect all
Having always been considered an unusual girl in the eyes of my peers, I'd never been truly comfortable in my skin. Eventually, this uncomfortableness blossomed into self-hate that manifested itself in awkwardness. Speaking to others became a difficult task for me. The fear that I would trip on my words gave me anxiety and I would find myself stuttering, my face turning the deepest shade of rose as I began to assume …show more content…
The last time I truly felt content in my life was when I was in elementary school, before the media implanted this idea of “perfection” in my mind, before I was seen as a geek, before the sole thing that mattered was the number of someone’s followers on Instagram, before I was objectified, before I hated myself. How did I not apprehend this before? Through all of these years, I solely wanted to fit in, but why? Why would I want to suffocate my personality" just to be another face in a sea of stereotypes and uniformity? The friendships I had cultivated and all the things I had done were done under the guise of self-hate, judgment, a prolific persona, a girl who so wrongly desired to be just another face among the faces. Makeup, dieting apps, the gym, parties, validation from others were all simply obstacles I had to cross to, finally, FINALLY, realize that I am perfect just the way I am. I have been perfect all