Flying Spaghetti Monsters: A Short Story

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Seymour Clemens was making his favourite dinner. He had just put the salmon in the oven when he realized that he needed to get some more flour so he could make a dessert. When he was going downstairs to get the flour, he thought he heard something. After he had made the dessert and put it in the oven, he decided to go downstairs to see if something was wrong. Once he got downstairs, he noticed something new. There was a door as tall as an opened newspaper and as wide a burlap sack that was right at the foot of the stairs. Seymour quietly whispered to himself, “Hmm, that’s new. When did I have that put in?” He then realized that he had to take his dinner out of the oven before it burned.
While he was washing the dishes, he thought he heard people partying downstairs. Seymour stopped what he was doing to go check what was happening. Once he could see the small door, his heart was pounding. He was sure he had seen the doorknob turn. When Mr. Clemens came upstairs, he went outside to see if there was a Constable nearby. To his surprise, there was. He was a tall, strapping young fellow with what looked to be dark brown hair under his helmet. Mr. Clemens yelled, “Mr. Constable, could you look at somefin’ for me?” “Sure thing,” answered the Constable. Once the Constable came up to the flat, Mr.
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Clemens asked, “May I get your name?”
“It’s Walters, Jeremy Walters.” replied the Constable.
On the way to the basement, Mr. Clemens was telling the Constable how he had heard something like a party downstairs and when he went to see what it was, he only heard a small doorknob turn shut. Constable Walters thought to himself, “ I hope this isn’t like the Flying Spaghetti Monsters Case.” The case of the Flying Spaghetti Monsters existed solely for one reason: Some “brilliant” American had come over to England trying to convince people that an invisible flying spaghetti monster had created the universe. After a few weeks of doing this, the police station had received multiple complaints about this man. Consequently, the American eventually ended up in custody and returned back to his home in Montana. Mr. Clemens said, “Here it is,” gesturing towards a small, dark brown door with a golden handle engraved with what looked to be some unknown tongue.
Constable Walters then got down on his hands and knees to see if the door would open.
“Well look at that, I guess whoever’s door this is doesn’t have a lock.”Constable Walters announced as he carefully opened the small door. Mr. Clemens asked, “ What do you see?” “ I see a small, cozy room with an ivy looking plant growing on the walls. I also see a wooden latch on the floor, but it’s barely visible cause there’s a rug covering it.” Constable Walters replied. “ Can you get in there?” Mr. Clemens asked. “ I’ll try my best,” Constable Walters answered confidently. After a little struggle, Constable Walters was able to get in. He then fully uncovered the latch and opened it. What he saw when he opened the hatch was truly heart-stopping. There were multitudes of mythical creatures roaming a vast plane studded with small trees and bushes; and it went as far as the eye could see. Constable Walters saw centaurs, fauns, unicorns, and even griffins.

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