Although Saul begins by exhibiting resistance upon himself when enduring discrimination, he feels their response would only end if he answered in a way they wanted him too. Forgetting his integrity, he shapes himself to become like the community which frequently belittles him as a hockey player. His paltriness provides no benefits, only furthering him from success. He says, “I began to skate with the deliberate intention of shoving my skill up the noses of those who belittled me, making me feel ashamed of my skin” (164). Albeit Saul disapproves of societal stereotypes, the denotation of “deliberate” highlights his changed judgement and intensity to which he stoops, forgetting his morals and continuing to strain his relationship with an unforgiving society complicates this entire endeavour. This transformation serves as a symbol of how Saul’s identity is sculpted by the prejudicial community, but in a way which does more harm than good. As he evaluates the situation, he struggles to reach success and continues to battle his relationship with …show more content…
Lastly, alcoholism and nomadism serve as a representation of Saul’s struggles with his surroundings, underscoring his difficult feelings of discrimination and his impotence to reconcile with it. As Saul travels through the phases of life, his identity and emotional state is drastically moulded by past experiences. Feelings of despair often set the stage for lives marked as disaster, influencing mindsets to ardently lean towards negativity. Starting off, as prejudice, discrimination, and trauma haunt Saul throughout his life, he embarks on a dark path, hiding behind his feelings and discovering ease to his pain only from alcohol. This hiding aggravates his inability to come to terms with his past. Alcohol serves as such a significant part of his adult life that, according to Saul, “I am not sure when I began to drink myself. I only know that when I did, the roaring in my belly calmed. In alcohol I found an antidote to exile” (180). Bearing the scars of trauma from his hockey career, he is endlessly on edge, often losing himself to pain so deeply that he unconsciously turns to