Personal Narrative: The Grapes Of Wrath

This past month, I’ve put in quite a few hours at my job, a Christian bookstore and (to anyone who has been there, this won’t come as any kind of shock) our usual clientele is (to put it bluntly) old. And I’m okay with that. Old(er) people don’t normally scare me (unless they’re super cranky and/or insane). All that being said, it’s usually a rare occurrence when we end up with younger people in the store. I’m not sure why I have this inclination, but when people of that age end up in store, I tend to sour. I end up feeling judged, insecure and jealous. I feel so uncool because of my “me-ness” compared to their “their-ness”. My business attire, weight gain, and acne seem ridiculous next to their skinny jeans and beanies. So yesterday, …show more content…
They were young, cool, fit and surrounded by friends (there was four of them, just enough to qualify as “surrounding”). I immediately felt those same thoughts and felt ridiculously insecure. So much in fact, to the place where I had to purposely avoid them. These feelings build within me for a good half-hour (during which I dusted. I attempted to dust out my “wrath”. Good plan.) until it was time for me to get ready to go. I (unfortunately) had to leave my corner and cross the store to get to my register and when I was almost there, I hear a male voice call out to me. I brace myself for an incoherent and ridiculous question like “Is your coffee vegan?” and instead observe the main hipster rave about how many C.S. Lewis books we had. “I didn’t know he had all these books. I have like three. I love his books so much. Ooooooh, (holding up “Until We Have Faces”) this looks really good. Have you read it?” I then find …show more content…
I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about C.S. Lewis. I should’ve. I haven’t really read anything of his (other than Narnia) but I want to. And you’re right, “Until We Have Faces” does look really good. I’m sorry I judged you falsely. Aside from your (somewhat distracting and aggravating) good looks, you are a person with a soul and hobbies and feelings. You don’t just have an artsy Instagram, drink Starbucks (the home of “vegan coffee”), or dress cool, you have a life and friends. When I see you (or someone like you) I don’t want my first thought to be one of jealousy and/or slight hatred. I instead want to see you as my Savior sees you, beloved, precious, and worth knowing. It’s not going to be easy, but I think it’s worth it. And while I work on that, maybe I’ll read some C.S. Lewis. Thanks for reading (and maybe forgiving