Personal Narrative-Kasey And I Just Break Up

Kasey and I just broke up. Well, it’s actually been a few months. Three months ago, to be exact. I guess you could say I’m still no over it. That’s the understatement of 2017 - I’m super not over it. I bought a record player recently. I’m not an audiophile or anything, but I do enjoy music more than the average bear and I believe that I’m part of an artifact-less generation - maybe the first generation to move on from collectible, physical copies of music, book, games, etc. as the whole world goes digital around us, toward “the cloud.” So I like artifacts. I like the physicality of this album, or that, because I think each captures a piece of my essence. I think each says something about me and each one I add to my collection says something new about me, maybe even something I couldn’t know about myself. I’ve been listening to a lot of ‘90s alternative stuff since Kasey and I broke up. Some R.E.M. (specifically their ‘90s stuff- extremely accessible), some Nine Inch Nails, some Weezer. A lot of Weezer. Specifically the “Blue” album, which was a masterstroke of debut album genius. It has a bit of everything from introverted angst to surfer rock to nerdy love songs to, most importantly, the breakup songs. The world has turned and left me here Just where I was before you appeared And in your place, an empty space, To fill the void, behind my face Nails me every time. Poetry. I’m tired and mopey now, so I think I’ll go to bed. Brush my teeth, take one last pee, strip to the nude, hit the lights, crawl in bed. Shit. I left the record player on. I stand up in the pitch blackness and walk across the abyss, twist the little on/off knob and lift the needle. Huge mistake. Hugo is one of my roommates and he’s my best friend. He’ also dating this extremely cute southern girl named Ashton. Hugo is punching way above his weight class. Ashton practically lives with us and she’s become a very close friend of mine as well. The two of them don’t actually have all that much in common. Hugo was born and raised an atheist liberal in a very progressive Australia in a city called Canberra. It’s the capitol. He’s had the opportunity to live briefly in many different countries; India, Singapore, France to name a few. Ashton was born and raised a Catholic Republican in a very conservative Alabama in a city called Mobile. It is not the capitol. She’s never left the country. What the two do have in common, however, is the fact that they are both absolute sex maniacs. As soon as I turn off the record player, the silence that one would expect in this dark room, doesn’t come. Instead, moans of pleasure, heavy breathing, and general bed rocking emanate from the wall just behind the headboard of my bed. I just lay back down in my shadowy cone of isolation and hope for them to stop. All I can do is …show more content…
I scribble Frank Sinatra’s breakup album down on my notepad as I’m dragged from the palace of my memory back into the purgatory of reality. That’s a great album for my collection though. Totally worth it. Just as I return to Earth, Julie walks into the shop. Julie is best friend’s with Ashton and we’ve become friends by default. She’s beautiful in a real, unconventional sort of way. Pale, blonde, short, but intimidatingly muscular. She’s from Luxembourg. She speaks German, French, Russian, English and Luxembourgish. Yes, that’s a real language. Her accent is some sort of sexy amalgamation of all of the above. She sports a constant scowl. Extreme resting bitch face as some would say. I find her irresistible. Julie also went through a bad breakup recently. Her boyfriend from Luxembourg was pretty emotionally abusive. He also stole money from her to fund his gambling addiction and cheated on her with her “friends” back home more than a few times. Also, he’s thirty and she’s eighteen. But she’s still in love with him. Still completely attached. We exchange greetings, a brief hug, and I place a book over my lap to hide the erection I’d gotten whilst daydreaming.
The world has turned and left me