My Thesis Statement

It is extremely difficult for me to comprehend this paper after reading it many times. The opening sentence in the first paragraph led me to think that the holiday will be the topic of the paper, which is quickly obfuscated by a movie that has nothing to do with it. This confusion is carried into the paper until the final paragraph that seems to tie back to the introduction, but not completely because the introduction is not clear about what the topic is, or at least not clear to me.
I’m not quite sure on the dominant impression, nonetheless I did get a sense of confusion. As far as the thesis statement, I was not able to clearly identify it, however I do think I was able to identify a potential thesis, but it was located in the last paragraph. I do not think this paper is well organized, and the arrangement of the details are scattered, and another arraignment may be more effective. …show more content…
And the details provided does not support the thesis; were not necessary, and are excessive and redundant. The use of transition words: first, then, and final in my opinion would help the reader if the rest of the paper was clearly arranged and constructed. And the use of “first of all,” does not smoothly transitions from the first paragraph, and the conclusion of the essay would be perfect if introduction would have been more clear. The author in the conclusion seemed to successfully paraphrase each main point—I think. There were errors that were obvious, and I do not have a favorite part of this essay. I do think the opening statement would work well if it was supported with facts about the holiday rather than a highly described fictional