Dear …….
I remember it like it was yesterday. The day I came face to face to my worst night mare.
I can’t put into words the pain I felt. The pain that caused my body to shut down my heart to hide away deep into the depths of my chest. The day I didn’t feel human anymore. The day I felt every emothion all at once and at the same time feel nothing at all. That day turned into nights of restless sleep. Nights where I woke up screaming seeing you. feeling everything over and over again. I have spent night scared to close my eyes scared you will hunt me once again. afaid you were going to hurt me. I would hug myself tight to make myself small as Iwalked past men. feeling weak. I couldn’t look at my reflection afaid …show more content…
I have wasted hours upon hours hating myself beating myself up inside where no one could see. I never asked for you to touch the most secret places. I never asked to be pinned too a wall with no where to run. I never asked to be stripped of my clothes and left bare and rare. you treated like meat. I was no longer human meat that you hungry attacked as I screamed. Part of my heart died with every scream. That day turned into weeks and mouths of inner turmoil. Itorchered myself. I blamed myself I felt ashamed I couldn’t look at myself. I wasted so many hours just staring and staring wanting some how to have all this pain melt away. the worst part was that I could remember the whole story. I was so scared and terrified.. what happened to me…. why didn’t the story make since. I didn’t tell anyone at first because I was afaid of being called a lair or people ot beleaving me. I spent hours tryingto do it myself trying to forcue my brain to rememeber. I remember getting so angry at you for ruining my life that I will never be the same. I knew I had to tell someone. Once I told people I felt good. I felt loved understood for a moment. I started to see it wasn’t my fault that I never deserved it.. People started speaking the truth to me. at the end of the day I still felt alone and that weight was still there. That pain still there. I felt trapped in my own
I remember it like it was yesterday. The day I came face to face to my worst night mare.
I can’t put into words the pain I felt. The pain that caused my body to shut down my heart to hide away deep into the depths of my chest. The day I didn’t feel human anymore. The day I felt every emothion all at once and at the same time feel nothing at all. That day turned into nights of restless sleep. Nights where I woke up screaming seeing you. feeling everything over and over again. I have spent night scared to close my eyes scared you will hunt me once again. afaid you were going to hurt me. I would hug myself tight to make myself small as Iwalked past men. feeling weak. I couldn’t look at my reflection afaid …show more content…
I have wasted hours upon hours hating myself beating myself up inside where no one could see. I never asked for you to touch the most secret places. I never asked to be pinned too a wall with no where to run. I never asked to be stripped of my clothes and left bare and rare. you treated like meat. I was no longer human meat that you hungry attacked as I screamed. Part of my heart died with every scream. That day turned into weeks and mouths of inner turmoil. Itorchered myself. I blamed myself I felt ashamed I couldn’t look at myself. I wasted so many hours just staring and staring wanting some how to have all this pain melt away. the worst part was that I could remember the whole story. I was so scared and terrified.. what happened to me…. why didn’t the story make since. I didn’t tell anyone at first because I was afaid of being called a lair or people ot beleaving me. I spent hours tryingto do it myself trying to forcue my brain to rememeber. I remember getting so angry at you for ruining my life that I will never be the same. I knew I had to tell someone. Once I told people I felt good. I felt loved understood for a moment. I started to see it wasn’t my fault that I never deserved it.. People started speaking the truth to me. at the end of the day I still felt alone and that weight was still there. That pain still there. I felt trapped in my own