Humorous Wedding Speech: A Short Story

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20 months ago I had the pleasure of introducing Bruce to some of you during the primary campaign. My guess is all of you are much more familiar with the Governor now then in those days of his political infancy…for me though, he is the same guy I’ve known for decades and I’m hopeful in the next hour you too can get to know more of the man I am so fond of. As I said then, you learn a lot about a guy when you've been his next-door neighbor for over 22 years…

You learn about his childish sense of humor when at 5:30 a.m., just to let you know he's thinking of you, he revs up his Harley Davidson directly beneath your bedroom window, or when you’re swimming laps at 6:30 a.m. in his pool, collecting your thoughts for the day and perhaps for your life…. and just as you’re taking a breath to make your turn your scared crapless when his huge head appears in your face screaming boo! Really childish…

You learn about how incredibly frugal he is when you are told by the cleaners that rather than buying new shirts, they flip his frayed cuffs and collars and resew them so Bruce can avoid the expense of buying new clothes. You learn of his sincere love for animals… As you relax in your idyllic yard, but are endlessly serenaded by his staccato commands as he relentlessly trains his prized bird retriever, pumpkin, at all hours of the day and night. You also learn of his "oneness with nature" ...as he gladly comes over late at night, with pool cleaning net in hand, while I’m hidden, scared to death in the bathroom… to valiantly capture the flying bat in my bedroom. You also learn quite quickly that it's not just your own wife who views their husband’s cigar smoking as a guaranteed method of birth control.
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Finally, you become well aware that the credo we've all been raised with… All men are created equal… Is not necessarily so, when you've come to know Bruce Rauner over nearly 22 years.

I have never in my life come across an individual with the amazing composition of such intellect, motivation, leadership, compassion, humor, curiosity and yes stubbornness. When Bruce gains an interest in anything, be it an individual, a business, a hobby, an institution, a charitable cause, a wrong that needs to be righted, a broken system which needs fixing….He pursues all with a doggedness I've never before seen.

Long before anyone, other than perhaps investment bankers, were familiar with the Rauner name, my wife and I were fortunate to play witness to this remarkable path of selflessness and social action that Bruce and Diane were marching down. Decades before Bruce had any personal political interest whatsoever, he and his wife have somewhat quietly given tens of millions of dollars away to a variety of endeavors. As important, the amount of time they've personally invested in nearly all of them is exemplary in the philanthropic world... Practicing what they preach, Diana is currently the President of the nationally recognized, Ounce of Prevention, whose goal is to bring quality early childhood experiences in the crucial first 5 years of life to all kids throughout Illinois and the nation. Much of their personal funding has been targeted to Chicago’s impoverished and underserved neighborhoods, including creating the Rauner YMCA

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