“How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (1982) is an excellent resource for parents who are finding it difficult to have healthy communication with their children. The content of the book has been used for group parenting education programs that have been proven successful. Joussemet, Mageau, and Koestner (2013) evaluated the potential of this program in regards to children’s mental health based on encouraging optimal parenting skills. They discovered that “By fostering all key elements of optimal parenting, the how-to program constitutes a promising intervention to improve parenting and child mental health in the general population” (Joussemet, Mageau, Koestner, 2013). In another study of five different parenting education programs, Fetsch and Gebeke (1995) found “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" to be the the most effective with 88% of all respondents reporting one to three positive changes in their behavior.
By assisting parents with outstanding communication skills, Faber and Mazlish (1982) are empowering parents to boost the self-esteem of their children and themselves. Bigner and Gerhardt (2013) write that assisting children in developing a healthy self-esteem will extend to many different aspects of their development. In addition to a healthy self-esteem, equipping parents with appropriate communication skills has been shown to decrease the number of children who are risk for developing challenging behaviors. (Powell, Dunlap & Fox, 2006). Chai and Lieberman-Betz (2016) maintain that often these challenging behaviors continue because they are in some way working in the favor of the child. For example, the child throws a fit and their needs are met by the parent. Faber and Mazlish (1982) also emphasize the need for providing a nurturing environment where children feel safe and respected. This type of environment also promotes healthy development. “Parenting classes designed for parents of typically developing young children are another means of ensuring that parents have the knowledge and skills needed to provide the nurturing, positive care that promotes healthy development.” (Powell, Dunlap & Fox, 2006). Children feel respected when parents communicate effectively with them, which is also a way to boost their self-esteem. (Zolten & Long, n.d.). Ultimately children must feel that they are understood by their parents. Faber and Mazlish (1982) suggest acknowledging the child 's feelings by listening, giving their feelings a name, and by giving them their wishes in fantasy. By being empathetic with children, they feel as though their feelings have been accepted. “Parents need to show their children understanding when it comes to their feelings. If they don 't, children will as a result feel misunderstood by their parents” (Zolten & Long, n.d.). Encouraging Autonomy is another important section of the “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” parenting program. …show more content…
Parents often struggle with this, as it is difficult to not step in and assist children when they face difficulties. (Faber & Mazlish, 1982). However, this is an essential part of healthy development. “Positive experiences that lead children to conclude that they can function autonomously result in a healthy sense of autonomy” (Bigner & Gerhardt, 2013). Faber and Mazlish (1982) make suggestions such as letting children make their own choices, not rushing to answer their questions, and not taking away their hope as ways to encourage autonomy.
By assisting parents with outstanding communication skills, Faber and Mazlish (1982) are empowering parents to boost the self-esteem of their children and themselves. Bigner and Gerhardt (2013) write that assisting children in developing a healthy self-esteem will extend to many different aspects of their development. In addition to a healthy self-esteem, equipping parents with appropriate communication skills has been shown to decrease the number of children who are risk for developing challenging behaviors. (Powell, Dunlap & Fox, 2006). Chai and Lieberman-Betz (2016) maintain that often these challenging behaviors continue because they are in some way working in the favor of the child. For example, the child throws a fit and their needs are met by the parent. Faber and Mazlish (1982) also emphasize the need for providing a nurturing environment where children feel safe and respected. This type of environment also promotes healthy development. “Parenting classes designed for parents of typically developing young children are another means of ensuring that parents have the knowledge and skills needed to provide the nurturing, positive care that promotes healthy development.” (Powell, Dunlap & Fox, 2006). Children feel respected when parents communicate effectively with them, which is also a way to boost their self-esteem. (Zolten & Long, n.d.). Ultimately children must feel that they are understood by their parents. Faber and Mazlish (1982) suggest acknowledging the child 's feelings by listening, giving their feelings a name, and by giving them their wishes in fantasy. By being empathetic with children, they feel as though their feelings have been accepted. “Parents need to show their children understanding when it comes to their feelings. If they don 't, children will as a result feel misunderstood by their parents” (Zolten & Long, n.d.). Encouraging Autonomy is another important section of the “How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” parenting program. …show more content…
Parents often struggle with this, as it is difficult to not step in and assist children when they face difficulties. (Faber & Mazlish, 1982). However, this is an essential part of healthy development. “Positive experiences that lead children to conclude that they can function autonomously result in a healthy sense of autonomy” (Bigner & Gerhardt, 2013). Faber and Mazlish (1982) make suggestions such as letting children make their own choices, not rushing to answer their questions, and not taking away their hope as ways to encourage autonomy.