Devyn Vermette
Ten things I’m afraid of
Not being able to explain myself to you
Keeping my composure
Sleeping my life away
Writer’s block
Sailing. I don’t cope well when I don’t have the right skills. When the water gets cold and black, it scares me.
Little dogs
Dying
Being in trouble
Being with you
Being without you
It was a muggy Sunday.
I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my boyfriend. August is undoubtedly the hottest month of summer and we were going to his mother’s family's vacation home in Little Deer Isle, Maine. Keegan’s parents are divorced, which probably should have been enough to run me off in the beginning. Every love story ever written will tell you, men from broken families have a difficult time trusting love. Keegan was also older than me, another reason I should have steered away, but it pulled me closer. It was almost seven and he would be here soon. Thank god because all I had done was listen to the clock tick by, for forty-five minutes. I stood by the window with my small duffel bag; I didn’t want him thinking I was one of those “over packers,” since we had never gone away together. My parents were hovering around me, it was the first time I had ever gone away without them. Unfortunately, I was the oldest. Parents make all the mistakes with their first child. My mom calls me “her first pancake,” to make light of all the mistakes we’ve made as mother and daughter. From the corner of my eye, I saw his 1999 Honda CRV, humming up our driveway. His standard poodle’s head was hanging out the backseat window: I like big dogs. I was nervous, but I didn’t want to show it. Keegan had been my boyfriend for a year now; therefore, I shouldn’t be anxious, but I always am. If I’m being honest, it was probably stemming from the fact that Keegan wanted to take me sailing. I had never been sailing before and unfamiliar tasks always stressed me out. He parked the car and advanced forward and made small talk with my parents. He assured them he would drive safely and take good care of me up north for the week. I believed he would. After hugging and kissing them both, I loaded my small duffle bag into the back with Mike. Keegan’s car had such a distinct smell, like cigarettes and stale McDonald's. I sat amongst crumpled papers, with song lyrics scratched along the pages. Ideas that Keegan had given up on. My Head Is An Animal, by Of Monsters and Men, is playing constantly in his car’s CD player. I realized that I memorized the words to those 12 songs, like I had every freckle on his face. The sky was presenting deep shades of grey that night, as if it was angry at us. Keegan held my hand, wedged his left knee underneath the wheel and lit up a cigarette. I didn’t smoke, but I had begun to associate the ashy smell with his presence. Taking a deep breath in, I exhaled all my worries. It’s amazing how quick the time passes when you’re around someone …show more content…
I wondered if I could stay here but then my left hand began to burn. Keegan. I reflected on my life thus far and whether or not I had accomplished what I was meant for.
Then, there was an overwhelming presence was around me. I began to hear muffled voices far from me, but surrounding me at the same time. Someone or something very powerful told me that it wasn’t my time and that I couldn’t stay here. Wherever I was going, I clung to the perspective and calmness this hypnotic state had given to me.
Without hesitation, I was jolted awake. I instantly smelled disinfectant and heard the hum of machines around me. There were straps and tape crowding my chest and I was cold. I took a deep breath and, for the first time, really appreciated the air in my lungs. Gradually opening my eyes, I saw doctors all around me and my parents worried faces in the corner of the room. Unexpectedly, there was a soft squeeze of my left hand. I cautiously turned my lacerated head to meet the eyes of, no other than, my darling
Ten things I’m afraid of
Not being able to explain myself to you
Keeping my composure
Sleeping my life away
Writer’s block
Sailing. I don’t cope well when I don’t have the right skills. When the water gets cold and black, it scares me.
Little dogs
Dying
Being in trouble
Being with you
Being without you
It was a muggy Sunday.
I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my boyfriend. August is undoubtedly the hottest month of summer and we were going to his mother’s family's vacation home in Little Deer Isle, Maine. Keegan’s parents are divorced, which probably should have been enough to run me off in the beginning. Every love story ever written will tell you, men from broken families have a difficult time trusting love. Keegan was also older than me, another reason I should have steered away, but it pulled me closer. It was almost seven and he would be here soon. Thank god because all I had done was listen to the clock tick by, for forty-five minutes. I stood by the window with my small duffel bag; I didn’t want him thinking I was one of those “over packers,” since we had never gone away together. My parents were hovering around me, it was the first time I had ever gone away without them. Unfortunately, I was the oldest. Parents make all the mistakes with their first child. My mom calls me “her first pancake,” to make light of all the mistakes we’ve made as mother and daughter. From the corner of my eye, I saw his 1999 Honda CRV, humming up our driveway. His standard poodle’s head was hanging out the backseat window: I like big dogs. I was nervous, but I didn’t want to show it. Keegan had been my boyfriend for a year now; therefore, I shouldn’t be anxious, but I always am. If I’m being honest, it was probably stemming from the fact that Keegan wanted to take me sailing. I had never been sailing before and unfamiliar tasks always stressed me out. He parked the car and advanced forward and made small talk with my parents. He assured them he would drive safely and take good care of me up north for the week. I believed he would. After hugging and kissing them both, I loaded my small duffle bag into the back with Mike. Keegan’s car had such a distinct smell, like cigarettes and stale McDonald's. I sat amongst crumpled papers, with song lyrics scratched along the pages. Ideas that Keegan had given up on. My Head Is An Animal, by Of Monsters and Men, is playing constantly in his car’s CD player. I realized that I memorized the words to those 12 songs, like I had every freckle on his face. The sky was presenting deep shades of grey that night, as if it was angry at us. Keegan held my hand, wedged his left knee underneath the wheel and lit up a cigarette. I didn’t smoke, but I had begun to associate the ashy smell with his presence. Taking a deep breath in, I exhaled all my worries. It’s amazing how quick the time passes when you’re around someone …show more content…
I wondered if I could stay here but then my left hand began to burn. Keegan. I reflected on my life thus far and whether or not I had accomplished what I was meant for.
Then, there was an overwhelming presence was around me. I began to hear muffled voices far from me, but surrounding me at the same time. Someone or something very powerful told me that it wasn’t my time and that I couldn’t stay here. Wherever I was going, I clung to the perspective and calmness this hypnotic state had given to me.
Without hesitation, I was jolted awake. I instantly smelled disinfectant and heard the hum of machines around me. There were straps and tape crowding my chest and I was cold. I took a deep breath and, for the first time, really appreciated the air in my lungs. Gradually opening my eyes, I saw doctors all around me and my parents worried faces in the corner of the room. Unexpectedly, there was a soft squeeze of my left hand. I cautiously turned my lacerated head to meet the eyes of, no other than, my darling