EXECUTION DAY presents as a dramatic crime thriller. The story centers on a detective who tracks down a serial killer. Because there have been so many of these types of films, to stand out the script needs to offer the genre something new. The script attempts to do this with the idea of the protagonist planting evidence.
There’s definite merit to the idea of a police detective being so frustrated by a case that they “help” with the evidence. It’s a nice set up for conflict and tension, as well as a moral dilemma. The moral question is posed: how far will a cop go? The story also offers a nice twist.
The goal is clear and the stakes are high. The script offers a mystery and does a good job in making the audience guess if Ron is the true killer …show more content…
doesn’t feel as if it fits and feels forced to find a way to have him arrested. This is an area to rethink and develop.
One doesn’t know much about Joyce, but the twist is good and she seems to have fallen for Ron. There are small plants that show her dedication to him.
To make more exciting and dynamic characters, try to create more powerful dialogue. Right now, the dialogue is pretty straightforward and sounds a bit on the nose, (example) “What are you doing?” “Preparing to kill you.” Avoid cliché lines like, “You won’t get away with this.” Try to add subtext. Avoid repeating conversations. It feels like Terry says several times that he believes Ron did it, and then later that Frank is the copycat.
The script is professionally formatted. There are a few minor typos. There’s a missing word on page 22, “I’m not the only ONE?” On page 41, it should be Terry speaking, not Myles.
SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
Crime mystery/thrillers are tried and true and can be marketable. They are normally easy to produce, but they need to offer a strong hook and original characters.
Add more action and less dialogue. Convert dialogue into
There’s definite merit to the idea of a police detective being so frustrated by a case that they “help” with the evidence. It’s a nice set up for conflict and tension, as well as a moral dilemma. The moral question is posed: how far will a cop go? The story also offers a nice twist.
The goal is clear and the stakes are high. The script offers a mystery and does a good job in making the audience guess if Ron is the true killer …show more content…
doesn’t feel as if it fits and feels forced to find a way to have him arrested. This is an area to rethink and develop.
One doesn’t know much about Joyce, but the twist is good and she seems to have fallen for Ron. There are small plants that show her dedication to him.
To make more exciting and dynamic characters, try to create more powerful dialogue. Right now, the dialogue is pretty straightforward and sounds a bit on the nose, (example) “What are you doing?” “Preparing to kill you.” Avoid cliché lines like, “You won’t get away with this.” Try to add subtext. Avoid repeating conversations. It feels like Terry says several times that he believes Ron did it, and then later that Frank is the copycat.
The script is professionally formatted. There are a few minor typos. There’s a missing word on page 22, “I’m not the only ONE?” On page 41, it should be Terry speaking, not Myles.
SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
Crime mystery/thrillers are tried and true and can be marketable. They are normally easy to produce, but they need to offer a strong hook and original characters.
Add more action and less dialogue. Convert dialogue into