I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting, held Wednesday at the 12 Step Club, located inside the Yard Birds mall, in Chehalis Washington. I had gone down the day earlier in the week to make sure I knew all the logistics, where, when and how long it would take, whether or not it was an open meeting, and so forth. The room was in a shopping complex the size of a small mall (305,00 square feet to be exact), and the room itself looks like it had retained the furniture and paint from when it was originally constructed forty-five years ago. Frankly it looked cold, old and moldy, with bleak, dirty, concrete block walls. The gentleman I talked to had long pony-tailed grey hair down his back, of an age impossible to determine, was washing dishes in the cafe attached to the meeting room, and he was wearing a dirty white tee-shirt, and a white apron wrapped around his waist. Collectively, this was my first impression of what I believed I could expect from the meeting on Saturday. After all, Centralia itself is not exactly what I would consider clean, or modern either one. I wondered then, if this was just the area, or intentional to be non-descript, and therefore non-intimidating, or if it would even pass notice or matter to the people who attend the meeting. When I went to the meeting, I expected to have to repeat my spiel of being a graduate student/observer, but this was not necessary. I was met at the meeting room by a greeter, offered free coffee, and instructed to take a seat wherever I liked. I had expected, rather biasly I can admit, to find a room full of transients or grumpy old people (two of Centralia’s staples); but instead there was a surprising mix of individuals. Some clean-cut, some that looked to be working class, “average” people, and at least two who looked to have means. What was really interesting to me, was the way the group interacted as equals, across status, race, and age. I was beginning to understand that they share this sense of community, that indeed seemed to be the lifeblood of the operation. I had always heard that there was a heavy spiritual bent to AA, but the driving force behind this group was definitely support, equality, and association by endurance that others can recognize, but not truly understand. The meeting opened with an instruction to turn off phones, housekeeping (respect) rules, and then the serenity prayer.
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This was followed by introductions. I stated my name and rather identify as an alcoholic, I said this was my first meeting. Then the night’s main speaker came up, and delivered what I can only describe as a beautifully powerful story. The topic was personality change. Among the things she said, several things stood out for me. She stated that she wasn’t a bad person, as the world would label her, but that she was bad with alcohol. Apparently, one of the tenets of the” big book” is that to experience substantial change for the alcoholic, thinking must be overhauled, and the wording from AA was a profound change (W, 1986). She pointed out that a profound change does not equate to a complete change, and she said she would never have to atone for her thoughts, but most certainly will always have to atone for her actions, good or bad. This, I thought was profound. I was struck with how this population has strength and vulnerability all at once. My own unrealized stereotypes were challenged at this meeting, because I did not pity these folks, in fact I saw them as people period. She also stated that she was powerless over alcohol (a statement I heard repeated several times by different people), but not powerless over her sobriety. After her speaking, a short break was given, then “open dialog” commenced, where individuals who so chose were allowed to share their thoughts. Three more of the group shared, and the meeting wound down. The atmosphere in the room was to me, very reminiscent of church, but not for the reasons one would think. When the speakers said something poignant, or relational to the group, it was followed by a Greek chorus of agreement. I had
This was followed by introductions. I stated my name and rather identify as an alcoholic, I said this was my first meeting. Then the night’s main speaker came up, and delivered what I can only describe as a beautifully powerful story. The topic was personality change. Among the things she said, several things stood out for me. She stated that she wasn’t a bad person, as the world would label her, but that she was bad with alcohol. Apparently, one of the tenets of the” big book” is that to experience substantial change for the alcoholic, thinking must be overhauled, and the wording from AA was a profound change (W, 1986). She pointed out that a profound change does not equate to a complete change, and she said she would never have to atone for her thoughts, but most certainly will always have to atone for her actions, good or bad. This, I thought was profound. I was struck with how this population has strength and vulnerability all at once. My own unrealized stereotypes were challenged at this meeting, because I did not pity these folks, in fact I saw them as people period. She also stated that she was powerless over alcohol (a statement I heard repeated several times by different people), but not powerless over her sobriety. After her speaking, a short break was given, then “open dialog” commenced, where individuals who so chose were allowed to share their thoughts. Three more of the group shared, and the meeting wound down. The atmosphere in the room was to me, very reminiscent of church, but not for the reasons one would think. When the speakers said something poignant, or relational to the group, it was followed by a Greek chorus of agreement. I had