Essay On My Grandmother

My grandmother who resided with us, was like a second mom to me and my siblings, and made it easier to live without my father. However, my grandmother was addicted to alcohol and had a mental health history. My grandmother had two nervous break downs before, and attempted suicide via overdose, which resulted in lung surgery and inpatient hospitalization: prior to my birth. When my mother would work double shifts, I would stay up with my grandma because I was scared for her. Most of the time she would keep me up, because of the rage that she felt after drinking. I remember trying to force her to drink water, because I thought it would flush her system and automatically make her return to normal. Instead my grandmother would yell “get that fucking …show more content…
My family expressed all of these phases freely. My mother was extremely angry with my uncle when she walked passed him sleeping in the living room to find their mother deceased in the dining room. My uncle felt extremely guilty because he had taken two sleeping pills before going to sleep that night. My mom felt guilty for going to the store so late, she stated “if [I] was home, [my] mom would have lived longer”. I blamed my uncle for being asleep and then myself for not waking up when the alarm went off. My brother did not show guilt, but he was very angry and shocked. My brother “ran up and down our block screaming, waking the neighborhood”. We all were in denial that she was gone. Like I said before, I was not worrying about her being pronounced dead at the funeral home, I was extremely excited to just see, and touch her. After my uncle died, I felt really guilty. I fell asleep doing chemistry work, which was the same thing that I was doing the night my grandmother died. I hated school and I refused to bring home anymore chemistry work. My uncle called my mother from the living room before he passed. My mother told him to “wait one minute while [she] finished up the dishes”. Seconds later, my mother was too late, “only if [she] would have went when he called”. She beats herself up about that at times. During the funeral my mother screamed “you said you would never leave me, now I am by myself”! Anger and rage projected toward dying individual or family members is actually a normal phase or process of grieving (Reilly,