“It's a sacred grove, Arthur, not a field of weeds. And it was your bright idea to go on a quest. No one asked if I wanted to sleep on rocks for a month.”
“Shut up, Merlin.”
“…”
“Oh, stop with the puppy dog eyes. That's hardly fighting fair.”
“Nothing ever pleases you, does it?”
“Of course not. I'm the King. It's my sovereign right to be displeased. I can see you rolling your eyes, idiot. Now… why did I agree to this?”
“For the quest. To find the prophesied secret to Albion's golden age. You must prove yourself pure of heart by petting a unicorn. Only virgins and the pure of heart can. The druids need to make sure you're actually pure and not just a virgin.”
“I’m not an idiot, Merlin. …show more content…
Now shut up and kiss me.”
“Go to h—mmmmm.”
“I do love how effective that technique is. Now, better get on with the show.”
“Er, I'm really not feeling it, Arthur. All I'm feeling is itchy.”
“You don't have to be ‘feeling it’. Last time I checked this wasn't your quest.”
“You are such a prat.”
“Mmmm. You said that already. And could you use some magic to speed things along? I'm getting sunburnt in places that should never see the light of day.”
“Gods, you owe me big time. But there, I'm ready to go.”
“I knew all that magic was good for something. I don't suppose you could make yourself lighter while you're at it?”
“Just get moving already!”
“Which one of us is the king here?”
“Ahhhhh… Yes… Ohhhhhh…. Why are you stopping?”
“I asked you a question!”
“Fuck, Arthur, stop teasing me!”
“Who's the king, Merlin?”
“You're the royal, Arthur. Ahhhhh…. Mmmmmmmm…. The royal… ass….”
“Damn, you're incorrigible. But the gods know…. I…. Nhnnnn… love it…”
“Gods, Arthur, go…. faster. Faster! Ahhhhh.”
“I'm going… as fast… as I can.”
“It's not… fast… enou— Arthur!”
“Mer— unnnnnnnnhhhhhh. Mmmmmm.”
• s a pretty steep price.”
“I could always turn you into a toad. Where would Albion be then?”
“Shut up,