Although I had volunteered in hospitals and worked on patient floors, my experience with this patient forced me to see a side of medicine that I was previously unaware of. At that very moment as I was walking down the stairs to my ambulance I was seriously questioning my motivation to become a doctor. I sat in the passenger seat of the ambulance asking the question that every pre-med student asks himself or herself: “Do I really want to be a Doctor”? I had transported many patients from nursing homes to their appointment so I questioned what was it about this particular patient that had altered me and made me so deeply saddened? From a very young age I had been unyielding in my desire to become a doctor and my personal, academic, or work experiences had never placed this desire in any doubt. What was it about this person that had shaken me so deeply that I was questioning everything I had thought I wanted and caught me so off guard? Was it because he had had expressed to me the financial difficulty of paying for his newly diagnosed end stage renal failure? As a recent immigrant from Albania and a son of parents who were unable to attend college and work as a housekeeper and cafeteria worker at UMass in Worcester, I am very familiar with financial hardship. No it could not have been this. Could it be the proximity of …show more content…
The abandonment that was the root of this patient’s isolation was the main thing that had caused my discomfort. Reflecting on this isolation that he faced, I realized that by meeting this patient and working as an EMT I had a distinct advantage of being able to speak with patients outside of a medical facility and see firsthand the emotional neglect that I found so repulsive. I understood that while working as an EMT I experienced situations that are difficult to face and accept such as was the case with this patient, but nonetheless it gives me an opportunity for personal growth and accomplishment. The medical field in turn offers me a lifetime of these opportunities. While at first I questioned my experienced with this patient, I was grateful that I had the opportunity to meet him and have thanked him many times for sharing his experiences with me when I transfer him to his dialysis appointments. My experience with him and other patients in the same situation as him have re-committed my desire to become a physician, but more importantly a physician who no matter what will always be willing to comfort and care for his patients. Having worked alongside doctors and nurses in the Emergency Room, I realize that medicine at its core is involved analyzing symptoms and problem solving. Yet, above all else medicine involves compassion, empathy, and support.