What on earth did they consume to let their fully grown minds think I, Erica Fernandez, have the same qualities as of a theatre nerd? Maybe I wanted this part. No, that’s not me. I talk a lot but I am shy. I’m not good with crowds hence why I’ve chosen a background role. I return from my daydream at the exact moment Mrs. Vail explains to me, that the former actress for Vi is ineligible for the role as she failed one of her classes. Okay, what sin have I performed to have such misfortune fall into me? But I suppose that’s a good thing. She didn’t lose her mind nor did she break her bones. This means she is capable of helping me if I need it, and I sure as hell do. Still, the terror and anger in my body intensifies before I can even finish a single blink. The sweat on my forehead recurs and the urge to wipe it off seems impractical now that the muscles in my arms became fatigued from this disaster. On the outside though, I’m cool and collected. That’s actually unintentional. I’m just not bold enough to verbally disagree with anyone about anything, so I wind up holding off my real expression. Mrs. Vail assures me that she, the theatre directors and the actors will be around to support me. Of course she’d say that, but I don’t believe her. She just doesn’t sound promising. I mean yes, there’s no denying people will help me, but it’s for their selfish reasons, it’s not to encourage me. In my mind, in my pessimist but rational …show more content…
Jealousy is taking over me and nothing seems to shake it off. In class I put away my booklet and actually studied the appropriate subject, but my mind keeps getting distracted. I’m just dreading going to the after school rehearsal because I know I will only brush off everyone and everything. Although I would rather be home and loathe on my own self-pity, I know I have to be there. As soon as I walk in the auditorium I notice that the lights are up, props are painted and the costumes are ironed. This is the real deal. I cannot drown myself in a pool of empty water anymore. I am afraid of something that’s nonexistent. Becca is excellent but I am able to grasp what an experienced high school theatre student would have had months to practice for, therefore I am also excellent. I can do this with the little courage I have, but I CAN do it. We start from the beginning all the way to the end with only small errors. I cannot wait for tomorrow’s run down. I get home and I smell a home-cooked Filipino dish that my grandparents had prepared for everyone. Tonight, I know, I will have a good sleep. I wake up prepared because a few hours from now I will have my very first musical as a lead actress. I grab my, almost empty, backpack and headed to the car. I listen to my songs as if I needed to. I also read my lines as if I didn’t know them already. You can never be too prepared and that is now my new mantra. The slight change