Score: 3/10 BODY PARAGRAPH #1:
Does the paragraph make a clear, logical argument? Is it organized?
Your first body paragraph makes a clear argument; however, you need to shorten some of the sentences and cut out unnecessary words. You may also want to rephrase some …show more content…
You may want to add some evidence to support your ideas and thoughts. This would make your argument stronger.
What does the paragraph do well? What can be improved?
It has strong sentences in order to enhance your argument. On the other hand, adding some evidence and support would enhance your argument even more. BODY PARAGRAPH #2:
Does the paragraph make a clear, logical argument? Is it organized?
Your second body paragraph does not have a clear, logical argument. It only talks about the DADT Act; however, it does include evidence from an outside source. In order to make your argument more valid, add some more reasoning for your argument.
Is the topic important enough to warrant a full paragraph?
No, I do not think the topic is important enough to warrant a full paragraph because it does not have a solid argument. Adding more reasoning to why you are arguing this would improve this paragraph.
Does the paragraph utilize solid, strong evidence?
The second body paragraph provides evidence. You may want to add some stronger evidence with details to support it.
What does the paragraph do well? What can be