Said Finley, a boy who literally escaped his thoughts and accomplished his goals, speaks these words in the young adult novel, Boy 21, by Matthew Quick. In the novel, Finley, a senior starting basketball player in high school, faces the challenge in mentoring Russ, an amazing basketball player, after he loses himself when his parents die. Finley is quiet and doesn’t speak much to anybody, because his mother died when he was younger, and he’s always been the quiet type. That’s one of the reasons his coach thinks he’d be a good fit to mentor Russ. Finley has a girlfriend named Erin who is also a starting basketball player that goes …show more content…
People should recognize and stress the importance for everybody to understand the nature of grief in order to help themselves and others deal with loss. ((Doka, Kenneth J.) There’s many different ways that grief can be experienced, “there is no strict timetable for the duration of grief; while the intensity of the pain may lessen with time, and grieve over the loss of a loved one often lingers for years.” (Doka, Kenneth J.) Grief has many different effects on different people. Some people spend more time and effort working as a way to seek respite from the loss. Children may act out when they grieve, showing flashes of anger. They might complain about feeling unwell seek help. Children may find it difficult to focus or concentrate, becoming easily distracted. Their performance in school may decline. A lot of individuals who grieve need a safe place to explore their many reactions to a loss. Nothing one can say can remove grief and it isn’t helpful to share one 's own losses at this point. Ask the individual who is grieving how they are and listen as they share their grief and …show more content…
Some people who suffered the loss of parents got married, got divorced, wrote successful novels, returned to school, and pursued new careers, “Profiting from a parent 's death is neither disloyal nor incompatible with grief.” (Graves, Alice.) One man became a lawyer to gain the approval of a distant, authoritarian father, and after his father passed away this man returned to his original love: music. .” (Graves, Alice.) Parents become fellow human beings, less powerful and mysterious, more like a peer, “Safer points out that you should use the guidelines she provides to begin the process of reaping "death benefits ' ' while your parents are still alive, so that you can better understand them and begin preparing yourself emotionally for their loss.” (Graves, Alice.) The best way to deal with the loss of a parent is whichever ways feels most comfortable to the individual that’s suffering the loss; If it 's talking, working, listening to music, writing, etc. then it 's what they should do. There really is no correct way to deal with