Cutting is not a trend, it’s an addiction. It’s like screaming but no one can hear. It is an everyday battle. You’d think that when we take a blade to our skin we’d be in a panic, crying, hyperventilating or sobbing uncontrollably, but really, when we feel our skin split in two, that’s when we feel the calmest. I used to think to myself ‘If this is how my life is going to be, I don’t want it anymore’. I didn’t always want to live my life. There was always one night that I’ll never be able to forget. It was my great-granddads 2 year remembrance. When I lost him I lost my best friend and the closest person I had to family. Although, when I was told he was gone I didn’t cry and I didn’t grieve. I never did grieve until that night. It finally hit me that I would never see him again. It all crashed down on me like a tonne of bricks. He wasn’t here anymore and he hadn’t been for a long time. I cried uncontrollably that night, feeling so incredibly numb and dizzy. I still couldn’t believe that I had really lost him. I spent 2 years denying the truth, even blaming myself for her inevitable death. I couldn’t possibly describe the emptiness inside me that I felt that night. There are no words to explain the void inside me. I never got the chance to say goodbye to my best friend and maybe that’s why I ran from the truth. I would give anything to have one more day with him to say goodbye because there were a thousand things that I didn’t tell him and I regret that. That night, when I finally knew how much I had lost, I felt horrible and I wanted to be with him so badly, that I tried to do something about it. I wanted to end everything so that I could be with him. I wanted to believe that if it ended, if it was finally over, I would see him again, and that made me
Cutting is not a trend, it’s an addiction. It’s like screaming but no one can hear. It is an everyday battle. You’d think that when we take a blade to our skin we’d be in a panic, crying, hyperventilating or sobbing uncontrollably, but really, when we feel our skin split in two, that’s when we feel the calmest. I used to think to myself ‘If this is how my life is going to be, I don’t want it anymore’. I didn’t always want to live my life. There was always one night that I’ll never be able to forget. It was my great-granddads 2 year remembrance. When I lost him I lost my best friend and the closest person I had to family. Although, when I was told he was gone I didn’t cry and I didn’t grieve. I never did grieve until that night. It finally hit me that I would never see him again. It all crashed down on me like a tonne of bricks. He wasn’t here anymore and he hadn’t been for a long time. I cried uncontrollably that night, feeling so incredibly numb and dizzy. I still couldn’t believe that I had really lost him. I spent 2 years denying the truth, even blaming myself for her inevitable death. I couldn’t possibly describe the emptiness inside me that I felt that night. There are no words to explain the void inside me. I never got the chance to say goodbye to my best friend and maybe that’s why I ran from the truth. I would give anything to have one more day with him to say goodbye because there were a thousand things that I didn’t tell him and I regret that. That night, when I finally knew how much I had lost, I felt horrible and I wanted to be with him so badly, that I tried to do something about it. I wanted to end everything so that I could be with him. I wanted to believe that if it ended, if it was finally over, I would see him again, and that made me