When Rachel came to her new school, she had to make a decision she never had to make before. Was she going to identify with the whites or blacks? In the beginning, she establishes herself with the black girls more, but the slight differences stand out to her. Rachel notices that she is not like either of the races. She has mocha colored skin, clear, bright blue eyes and smooth hair. When Rachel enters high school, she is tired of the labels assigned to her because of her appearance. “They call me an Oreo. I don’t want to be white. Sometimes I want to go back to being what I was. I want to be nothing.” (Durrow, pg 148) The critical remarks and terms used to describe Rachel and her siblings were the reason her mother wanted to take their lives. She was not prepared for the severe objection that society inflicted based on the color of her children’s skin and their relation to a white woman. She took the easy way out and just wanted it all to end, thinking that if they are dead, no one can say anything discriminative. The absence of her mother throughout the later years of her life creates problems for Rachel. She lacks a strong mother-figure after Aunt Loretta dies, even though she was more of a role model than a stand-in mom. Without the presence of a mother, Rachel loses her guiding star on how to grow up. Because of this, she gets …show more content…
When something makes Rachel sad or angry, she puts those emotions in her blue bottle, a place where those feelings are safe and untouched. “When something starts to feel like hurt, I put it in this imaginary bottle inside me. It’s blue glass with a cork stopper. My stomach tightens and my eyeballs get hot. I put all of that inside the bottle.” (cite) For the first time since her mother’s death, Rachel has found the courage to open up about her feelings, which has kept inside her bottle. The blue bottle contains all of Rachel’s deepest feelings and emotions. It is the things that are inside the blue bottle that have helped to frame and identify Rachel as the person she is. The blue bottle is a coping mechanism for Rachel- she bottles up her innermost intentions and problems and deals with them when the timing is right. “The bottle is where everything sad or mean or confusing can go. And the blues--it 's like that bottle. But in the bottle there 's a seed that you let grow. Even in the bottle it can grow big and green. It 's full of all those feelings that are in there, but beautiful and growing too.” (CITE) By sharing her blue bottle, she is finally opening up and surrendering these built up emotions. Rachel is making room in the bottle for new emotions because it can only hold so much before it explodes. She explains how allowing a seed