This means I generally agree with Michael Kimmel—men are told they need physical power, respect from all those around them, the desire of women, domination and control over others, particularly women, to be considered suitably performing masculinity. How could you blame someone for being angry and frustrated when all they were promised in life turns out to be false expectations? This does not mean I condone using violence, or unloading a clip into a sorority house, but it does make sense. When it comes to affecting personal relationships, it is indeed difficult to learn improved communication and conflict resolution skills when encouraged to utilize violence as a first resort for any type of interpersonal problem. However, the crowning glory of affirming one’s masculinity comes from using force against women, or feminine aspects. As Katz cites in the documentary, 99% of rapes, 86% cases of domestic violence, and 87% of stalking cases are perpetuated by men. Of course, while I am somewhat dubious of the numbers because of how few men report issues such as domestic violence or how few women report their sexual assaults to authorities, I cannot trust that those statistics are perfect. Yet, I have no doubt that the majority of these crimes are enacted by men against …show more content…
I watched Tough Guise 2 with my boyfriend, and it remined me of a lot of issues he has been dealing with, that we have been trying to work through. I worry about him because of how much I care for him, and how much I see him struggle with obeying the masculine script that has been forced on him in his life. It is difficult for him to describe his feelings specifically, and why he feels a certain way, because of how difficult it is for him to identify his emotions to begin with. This had led to some anger problems that sprout from a conditioned reluctance to discuss, evaluate, and work through a variety of emotions, as it is considered too feminine. I do not think he wants to be this way, but it is hard to be any other way when the world you grew up in has told you how to be from day one—as a woman, I too experience this, just in a different way. He has explained to me that negative emotions of any kind such as shame, sadness, grief, hopelessness, anxiety, insecurity, and fear are all placed into the same “bad” box, and from there manifest into expressions of rage, or expressions deemed acceptable of a masculine script. To him, this is how the pressure to perform a masculine scrip that leaves no room for what Shaw and Lee describes as softness, passivity, neediness, fear, delicacy, and others (116). Aspects of his humanity are suppressed in favor of seeming “hard” (Kimmer,