Going through my proposal, caused me to quickly realize that this paper doesn’t flow very well. The ideas need to be more organized and more concise. This also cause the paper to seem all over the place and disorganized. The ideas incorporated are good, however they need to be organized and rephrased better. …show more content…
Reading this paper was hard to do because I wanted to fix the errors that were located in the paper. There are really awkward sentences in my proposal making it hard to read at times. In order to fix this, rewording and more details need to be added.
My paper was about 1 ¼ page long and it needs to be 1 page. In order to meet the length requirement, I must take out some unnecessary issues. Many issues are brought up in my proposal, but there are a lot of problems that do not need to be there are too many topics in too little of space. Conciseness needs to be more evident in this paper for it to be able to meet the length requirement.
Along with taking a long time to introduce the issue, it also takes a long time to introduce a solution to my problem. I don’t introduce a solution until the conclusion. Conclusions aren’t meant to introduce any more topics; therefore, I should be concluding and not introducing a