Created by: Celina Supurnami Yaputra 11.1
Sense of belonging. Like all human qualities, it is an abstract concept since no one could describe the meaning of belonging perfectly. The meaning varies from one person to the next but we all struggle in the same problem, and that is finding our real identity. For me, having a sense of belonging is the basis for emotional growth. With an identity, I am endowed with unique values, way of thinking and expressions that leave a mark and shapes me for whom I am. And similar to other individuals, I too, have struggled in finding my own sense of belonging.
Living in Indonesia where there are large numbers of multi-racial citizens makes me feel great. Since I was born, …show more content…
I feel like I’m welcomed as a Chinese Indonesian, but I began to think as time passes by because of this Belonging module from Indonesian Background Speakers and English as Second Language classes. Is this who I really want to become? Who am I? I don’t feel that being in any of these two cultures really reflect my idea of belonging. Sure, I am living in Indonesia; however, I’ve never felt like I actually owned the pride of being a true Indonesian. I don’t feel like I’ve contributed anything to the country and I didn’t like this place from the very beginning. Indonesia is full of scattered trashes, non-stop traffic jams, and I’m not attracted to the culture at all like using batik, or watching traditional live performance of Tari Kecak. On the other hand, that leaves me with the other culture, and that is being a Chinese. Since I took time to rethink of it again, I’ve learned that I’m not a Chinese either. I can’t speak Chinese fluently and I’ve just learned basic skills from my grandma speaking. I took Chinese Continuers classes but I don’t feel like studying from the book and rearranging sentences out of dictionaries is enough for me. I still don’t feel that I have a spirit of nationalism, and even more, I’ve never been to China even once. And as you can see, I end up being completely lost in intricate thoughts and still cannot find the solution. The final question remains, where do I …show more content…
While I don’t necessarily share the experience about living abroad in another country, I can agree that Indonesians are never proud to acknowledge that they are citizens of this country. It’s shameful that we are trying to adopt other countries’ identities, but this is inevitable. The shattered image of being an Indonesian because of those racism gossips and stereotypes just makes me dislike being here even more. My negative perception of Indonesia and how I chose not to belong made me possess an unrecognizable identity. In the end, I’ve struggled with barriers of belonging to this place. Meanwhile, my perception of belonging has also been shaped by the song “Remind me of Who I am,” because I feel like I’m going through some kind of emotional instability as a teenager. The song’s main character matches well with me, for he is lost because he feels like he belongs to