One major communication flaw of mine is my inability to listen to others at times. The idiom, “you have one mouth and two ears, so you should listen twice as much as you talk,” makes sense. However, it has been hard to implement this idea in my life. I have noticed in conversations that I sometimes “check out” and start thinking about other things, completely ignoring the person talking. When I realize I am not listening, I try to redirect my attention back to the other person. Sometimes this works, most times it does not. Another flaw in my listening is that instead of focusing in on what’s being said in a conversation, I often find myself thinking about what I should say or do next which leads me to sometimes …show more content…
There are four people in my immediate family and none of us has stellar listening skills. My mother has gained the undesirable reputation of falling asleep while being spoken to. My brother and my father, especially my father, loves to listen to themselves talk as opposed to the person they are communicating with. Of course for me, I have the listening issues stated above. As you can probably imagine, effective communication in my household is quite a challenge. We all get by on small talk like, “how was your day,” “did you see the neighbor’s new car,” and “I like your new outfit.” We also communicate by expressing what we want each to do. For example, chores, errands, and other tasks. Any conversation that dives below our surface talk is rare and usually occurs when we are extremely angry or upset with one another. Although my family’s style of communication does not seem to bother anyone else but me, I believe it is weakening my family’s interpersonal communication and that a start to fixing it is to improve our listening …show more content…
The active five uses a concept from the book, Bridges Not Walls, by John Stewart, known as using “And as a marker and a trigger” (141). My concept also uses the word “but” as a fellow classmate discussed in his paper. Basically, when entering a conversation, I will give my full, undivided attention to the person speaking, without thinking about what I will say next or daydreaming. I will do this for as long as I can, or five minuets, hence the term “active five.” After five minutes, if I no longer wish to continue the conversation, I will acknowledge what was said, use “and” to express how I feel about what was said, then use “but” to signal that I am ready to end the conversation. For example, if my Dad begins a conversation about football, I will actively listen for as long as I can, or five minutes then say something like, “yes I agree that the Ravens will need to make some changes in order to improve next season AND I appreciate your loyalty to the team despite how awful they were this year, BUT I have to get back to doing my school work