Since you met me you've always wanted to know things about me. I don't know why you care, but now that I know you can't tell me you hate me to my face, I can tell you all of those things you've been dying to know. I can let you in, and I just hope that you don't decide I'm too damaged for you. Remember you wanted to know all of this, you asked for this. It will only be dark for a moment, then it will get super gay, youll love it.
Remember when I said I hated the words 'forever' and 'almost'? Do you want to know why? Don't care, you get to know anyway. Now, it's not like I don’t believe that forever doesn't exist, it totally does, it's just unrealistic. People promise forever when the mean a couple of months. Forever is just a word that …show more content…
After a long debate with myself I've decided that this goes with the whole opening up thing. I think I fall in love a little bit with anyone who shows me their soul. It's so rare to find someone that's willing to let you in. This world is so guarded and fearful, I appreciate rawness so much. He came to me with all of his pain out in the open, and I knew how to help him. I could have saved him. But see, you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, and he didn't want to be saved, not even by me. So I got close, and he shut me out. He didn't give a shit about me, he just didn't want to be alone. Needing someone isn't beautiful or romantic, it's fucking painful. Poems try to make it seem that way, they fucking lie. There was actually nothing beautiful or poetic about it, he shattered my fucking heart. Being in love with someone sucks once they leave. I gave him the power to destroy me the minute I allowed myself to love him, it was May 2nd. So that’s exactly what happened, he destroyed me. I refuse to glorify or romanticize a heartbreak, for me it was a kind of death and I was forced to keep living. I was never mad though, I'm quite easy to break since I'm already so fragile. At any given time I taste like alcohol, mistakes, and cigarettes. Maybe I was just a little too hard to love, a little too broken, a little too vulnerable. But …show more content…
You kissed me until I forgot how terrified I was of everything wrong with my life. It terrified me. It still does. I have spent so much time practicing saying goodbye when it hurts. I have spent so much time preparing myself, so that the words don't feel like thorns caught in my throat, I say them until they're nothing. But saying goodbye to you was unlike anything I've ever done. It wasn't painless, it hurt. That terrifies me. I can never seem to exist loud enough for anyone to listen, but then you came along and you saw me. You saw me for who I was. You listened. That isn’t something that happens to me. That also terrifies me. But baby your existence is a fucking blessing on this earth and I am so lucky to be alive at the same time as you (even though I was 8 years late). Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn't see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world. You met me at a very strange time in my life when I didn’t want to be saved, when all I wanted was to be buried alive and I don’t know how, but you made me want to save myself and that’s how I knew you were dangerous. I crave you, you're the one I need. I can lose myself in your essence. You embody the energy of the moon and you glow the same. A young heart but an old soul. We came together for a reason, it was fate. I was with you in my past life I can tell. Ill sit directionless and wait for your return because