Marital satisfaction has become the measure of a successful marriage, despite the fact that marital satisfaction does not remain the same throughout the lifetime of a marriage (Amato, 2014). Relationship satisfaction is typically high at the time of marriage, however there is …show more content…
The study included 886 participants, of which 55% cited “growing apart” as the predominant reason for seeking divorce, followed by 53% who cited “not being able to talk together” as the second most predominant reason for divorcing. The researchers found this astonishing considering that the most amendable complaints in marriage were most likely to lead to divorce as opposed to less amendable complaints such as the 22% who reported alcohol or other drug problems or the 13% who complained of physical violence in the marriage. Coontz (2007) expressed the same sentiment. He argued that the historical American glamorization of romantic love has greatly contributed to the fragility of marriage. Romantic love is the driving force for American marriage (Coontz, 2007). Couples want to be happy and satisfied, they want to have a sexually pleasing relationship, and want their emotional needs met. The importance placed on these factors when deciding to marry is ironic considering that these factors are inconsistent throughout marriage, and do not necessarily maintain marriage. When spouses base their marriage around passion, romantic love, self-fulfillment, and then their needs and expectations are unmet, this may be a factor that contribute to premature divorce. It would seem then that satisfaction in a marriage may play a great role in deciding to marry, but it is curious what might …show more content…
Schoebi, Karney, and Bradbury (2012) were curious if commitment played a greater role in marital stability than satisfaction. They discovered that it may be helpful to look at commitment in two different ways: commitment to the extent that one desired for the relationship to continue (marital satisfaction), and commitment to the extent that couples engaged in behaviors that would actually maintain the relationship (commitment independent of desire to continue in relationship, or marital commitment). For husbands, relationship satisfaction was a catalyst for engaging in behaviors that maintained the marriage beyond simply desiring to be married commitment (Schoebi et. al, 2012). In addition, the propensity to maintain the relationship explained the variability in the active pursuit of divorce, active divorce, and the behaviors wives engaged in during conflict resolution, independent of marital satisfaction. What this means is that being happy helped couples want to do the work necessary to stay married. Also, the study revealed that the desire for a relationship–marital satisfaction–was a weaker buffer against divorce than employing behaviors necessary to maintain the relationship–commitment (Schoebi et. al, 2012). This means that although being satisfied makes a couple want to work at their marriage, being satisfied alone, was not enough to stay married–staying married meant being happy and working at